Wednesday, December 2, 2009


Well, what is a struggle? Websters says "to proceed with difficulty or great effort". Are you struggling with anything right now? Sometimes we struggle to get up in the morning, make dinner, work out. Everyone has them, but it is hard to learn to cope with them in different ways. Food has almost always been my coping mechanism. Today I was told to not really workout till my ear got better. (that is another story), and now I can't use that to help cope. What do I do? I have a lot going on right now, just like everyone, but I am to chose a different coping mechanism. How? I have blogged about this sort of thing before, but I think as one chooses a weight loss journey or any journey you have to face your issues your struggles usually more than once.

I was doing my bible study today. It is Esther by Beth Moore and it was talking about failure to decide and I had a light bulb moment. I pray I can really apply it from this day forward. We get choices everywhere, with food, with obeying God, with exercise, with our time and if we fail to decide what to do in the struggle than we may risk gaining weight, our destiny, our health, our relationships. I never want to fail to to decide. We should be intentional about our choices, our lives, our attitudes.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Believe in myself

I was reading an article today from one of the biggest loser contestants....and she is all about believing in yourself. Do you believe in yourself? Do I believe in myself? I do in some areas, but when it comes to weight loss it is hard. I know I have come a long way, but I have never fully succed at this journey. I have tried many times and failed. It is disappointing, frustrating, and makes me feel like I can't do it. I have had a rough few weeks.....not everyday, but moments. I could give you a long list of excuses(hormones, hormones, and hormones, and life, and I have been sick.) I had another one today. I was so hungry and wanted a snack. I made my protien drink, but still wanted a it went like this in my mind "one nilla waffer will not be bad, you can have just one". That one thought grew into too many wafers. And after swallowing my apple cider vinegar...the consuqence of my choices of eating, I thought this is just like sin. It is that one thought that creeps into you mind, and we act on it, and it turns into too many whatevers.........We have to nip it in the bud at the thought, the temptation.

I want to have resolve like Daniel did....Danile 1:8 says "But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with they royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way." Resolve is a strong word that means to be devoted to principle and to be committed to a course of action. I want that.

I can believe in myself, because Jesus believes me. I have to get up and move on, Jesus is the lifter of my head. I don't have to hang it down, even when I have made a mistake. I can brush off and keep at it.

In the bible study I am doing the other day, I heard a new phrase..."false shelter". I think this is sometimes what food can be for me. I am learning though to not let food have control of me, but me have control of food.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Tummy Ache

So much to confess...where do I start? I have exercised now 3x for two weeks, I only have 2 more times and I will have done it for 3 weeks. Yeah! I have played racquetball for the first time.....anyone give lessons?? It is a little comical I am sure, but a fun date night with my man.

However I have fallen off the wagon a bit. I have lots of excuses....stress, its been really busy, work, discouragement, but the only thing it has given me is a tummy ache. Was it worth it? No. And I now have the after guilt. But, I will learn from this. I can make a different and better choice next time. I can fight through the temptaions. I can do something different with my emotions. I do not have to chose to feed them! Next time...I can take a mommy time out, pray, call someone, take a walk, or blog.

One more thing to admitt: I have been craving Dt. Coke for about a week....I had a sip tonight..and Yuck. I am free of Dt. Coke.

Monday, October 12, 2009


EXERCISE................uggg. This is the hard part right now. I have met the goals that I set previously and it is time for new ones. I know this needs to be one, but ......

I have said in an older post that I realize that I just need to make time for it....but it is so difficult for me to do. I am working out on occasion, but everyday....or even 3 times seems so far fetched. I did do a 1 mile walk today.
I admitt I am the queen of excuses! I am a girl who likes to sleep at least 7 hours, usually more and I am lazy. Proverb6:9 says "How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep?" I need someone to call me at 5 every morning as say this to me, or remind me every afternoon.
So with that goal for this week is 3 workouts. I did in the past I can do it again...wish me luck.

this is a bigger before pic....

Me and my girls

31 Pounds ligther......

It is crazy to think, I have lost 31 pounds. I have come so far and yet have so far to go. I love fitting into things again. I am wearing the same pants in this picture as my before picture, however this time I had trouble keeping them up.....LOL

Sunday, October 4, 2009


Well, hello out there in blog world. I can not believe it is October 4. I have now lost 28.2 pounds and my wedding fits. Yeah. I hated that I could not wear my wedding ring for so long. Not that it did not mean I was married, but it is a symbol and very pretty one at that. I like having it on my finger. It feels so good to place it on my hand. It has been over 2 years since I could wear it.

Have you ever wanted to wear that something special? You can do it my friend. Making choices can be very hard, especially the ones that are good and right. It is so hard sometimes not to default to old habitis. But new ones that help you be heathly for you, your family, and help you wear your wedding ring are worth it.

What is your wedding ring? Are you ready to choses to wear it.?

Sunday, September 20, 2009


I am not sure where to begin. It has been a while since I last posted. My oldest daughter started kindergarten and my work schedule seems like it has been crazy and stressful. Stress can lead me to eating.....however I have continued to do well......I am now at 23 pounds lost. It feels amazing. I have worn some clothes that did not fit, which encourages me tremendously. I have had more temptations it seems. Do you know how good peanut butter smells? I mean really. You open the jar and it is amazingly peanuty and says...."just one bite". Who knew making a PB&J for my kid would drive me bonkers. I am proud to say: I have not given into just one bite with the peanut butter. God will give me strength right!!!! However, we had a wedding on the 19th.....and wedding cake seems to taste so much better than any other cake. I went in saying I would give myself one bite. I am not a wedding crasher, I will not attend another for a long, I ended up having about 4 small bites. The sugar gave me a slight high and made my tummy hurt briefly. I will admit it was YUM! I did not feel guilty, I was actually pretty proud of myself. Maybe I am beginning to think skinny...small bites on rare occasions. But wait the day after I seemed to crave more food in general. We went to Sprouts and I had a sample of a small pretzel filled with of all things peanut butter......ugggh. That is what I understand to be reacting not responding. The evening kinda got a little bit stressful, and then my lovely neighbor calls to give us some leftover wedding cake....and yes I had a few bites. I put down my fork and got my protein bar. Tonight I felt guilty. I know a few bites against plan are not going to kill me, but eating my feeling can! I did not think it through. I want to hit 25 this week...what was I thinking? Okay I will pick myself back up and move on. I was going to throw the cake out, but just because I can't have it, no wait just because I chose not have cake does not mean my family has to. Temptations, feeling, life is everywhere. I have to ability to chose what I do with it.

Oh and guess what....My wedding ring is kinda fitting. I can not wear it for long periods, but I was able to wear it for 2 hours on Friday night and to the wedding. I could not get it on today...but after about 2 years I say that is progress.

Please pray I use my time wisely this week and make time to workout.

Monday, September 7, 2009


I am thrilled to say I am at 16 pounds lost. Yeah. I wore a skirt to church yesterday I have not worn in a while. My wedding ring still has a little bit to go. I did not make working out 3 times this past week. My husband and I did Day 1 of the couch to 5k program a week ago, and it was fun. Hard, but fun. We planned on doing it again, but my oldest daughter got sick on Tuesday so we did not make it. On Wednesday, by the time I was able to it was too dark, and Thursday and Friday just got filled with stuff. Hopefully I do better this week. I wanted to workout today, but we went to the park and I collided with the ground while riding my kid's wiggle my youth really gone that I can't do kid stuff without hurting myself?

I have been doing really well, but I have had moments that things I can't eat sound so good and I just want to be lazy. I made my daughter peanut butter and jelly and oh my the smell of peanut butter never smelled so good. But, I have to remember the goals.....lose weight, get healthier. I know that I will have peanut butter again one day. I know that as I continue to eat healthy, later I will add in foods I am not eating. I will be able to enjoy them instead of take advantage of them.

Friday, August 28, 2009

It's Friday and I did it.

TGIF. I am so glad it is Friday. I just finished work and my parents are on their way. Yeah!

I met my goal, of exercising 3 times this week. Yeah! Fitting it in was difficult, but I did. I have a planner, ocd personality and I always try to plan my exercise at a certain time everyday. In my mind, I should get up early and exercise, and since I can't I find it hard to plan...... but I had a light bulb moment this week. Instead of planning for everyday,I can plan one day at a time. Where is it I can fit it in? Okay, I know it is not a new concept, but I needed to learn it in regards to fitting in time to exercise. If I can't do it in the morning, due to lazyness, work, kids, I can do it another time. And I did that this week.

I know some people who are doing this running and I am considering it.....?? I have said to David many times I want to run a marathon.....ummmmm?

I also get frustrated at myself, because I want to get up early before my family, enjoy my cup of coffee and biblestudy and I don't. However I had to finish work stuff this morning and got up at for me I have to make an appointment with Jesus. If I can do it with work, I can do it with Him.

Oh and I am at 13#s.....

Monday, August 24, 2009

Workout #1

I walked 2 miles today, in 30 minutes. I did a Walk Away the Pounds was fun.....yeah....

Two more days and this goal met......Lord give me strength.....!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

10 Pounds

Wow! I have dropped 10 pounds. That feels amazing. Can you imagine 10 pounds of hamburger meat? Yes, I lost that much fat. YEAH. I am so thrilled. I have had so much more energy. The picture on my profile is pretty much my before picture....I look forward to putting up others.

When I started this process one of my goals was to wear my wedding ring....I can't wear it yet, but I will get there soon. But, I decieded I want to add a new goal this week: To work out at least 3x......

I struggle with working out. Its not that I don't like it, its that I feel like there is no time for. Getting up at 445 is so early!!!! And I need sleep! Is 6.25 hours enough??But if I get up, than its done. If I do it in the afternoon other things come up and I would be rushed to get the girls from daycare and school, and at night is out of the question. I have to do dinner, baths, where does it fit in? Any advise would be appreciated? How do you fit it in??

Friday, August 14, 2009

More Energy and other thoughts

Over the past year I have struggled alot with fatigue. I have slept many nights at least 9 hours, struggling to get up afterwards and needing naps during the day. I love to take a good nap, but for me this battle with tiredness was wearing on me. Working full-time, raising 2 small girls, and having a husband I did not and do not have time for decreased energy and fatigue. Well, today I tried to take a nap 2 different times and I could not. I have had so much more energy today! This program has already made huge changes. Instead of sleeping I got some much needed decluttering done! I would like to keep my Sunday nap though!

What does food do for you???

What does food do for me? For as far back as I can remember it has been my best-friend and my worst enemy. When I felt alone, unable to talk to someone, or had any other feelings it was there. It brought comfort, release, and it filled the cracks left by hurt, anger, sadness, guilt. Yet, as I let it be my friend it became my enemy as I gained weight. It is a vicious cycle. Food is more like a drug for me, then just the simple nutrition I need for life and good health. It numbs and although the consequences of the drug are difficult I know that it will feel good next time.
I have been wanting to change this pattern for a long time. I can remember as a kid being on diets and into adulthood, but nothing ever worked well. I never finished. I also never worked through the honest emotional ties I have with food. I know that I have to allow Jesus to heal me, comfort me, and give me strength. I know that I have to not just react but respond. It helped me yesterday. My husbands grandmother passed away, and there was food everywhere as well as feelings, but I made it though with prayer and determination.
What do you want food do for you?
What do I want food to do for me? I want it to give me health. I want it to give me the energy to play with my children. I want to learn to enjoy it not abuse it.
May God bless our food to the nourishment of our bodies.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Day 4

Well, I met one goal. I made it throught the 3 day preparartion phase. Yeah. Today was easy,being able to eat more foods. I was not hungry till dinner time. I did have the urge to eat at times, but it stems from stress. I will address that later I think.....I am too tired to go deep tonight.

Blessing to you.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009


I am having caffeine intake took a huge nose dive today. I usually drink about 5 cups of coffee every morning and dt. coke throughout the day. Today, 2 cups and no dt. coke......headache. However I weighed in today and I lost..........3.4 yeah!!!!!

Monday, August 10, 2009

Day 2......

Day 2 ...I have made it through. How, I'm not sure....I had to drink very little Dt. Coke compared to what I normally drink. There is no more.....I have wiped my tears and said goodbye to one of my best friends. Yes, I have one more day I can drink it, but I have already said my peace, why buy more? So decreased Dt. Coke, and I had to drink my coffee black.....uggg. I like coffee with my cream and splenda. I did not have near as many cups as normal and its Monday. Can you say cranky??

Sunday, August 9, 2009

I hear people say "I am so out of shape", I however am not. I have a shape, its called round. Round face, round arms, round in the middle. You name it and its round. Okay lets be honest, its fat. Yes, I confessed, I am fat. In fact, I am considered obese, but starting today I pray that I can get The Skinny on Shelly. " I can do all things through Christ,who gives me strength",right??

I have joined a program that will assist me on my endeavor and wanted to document my journey to thin, to health, to keeping up with my kids, to wearing my wedding ring again, wearing clothes because they are cute, not because they cover up my shape. Will you join me?

Goal #1 Make it through the first three is the hard part

Goal #2 Wear my wedding ring......after two kids it just don't fit no more

Oh and please pray for me......After Tuesday I can not longer have Dt. Coke. My friends at Sonic are going to miss me.