Friday, February 11, 2011

Woman vs. Cupcake Cake

On January 28 my daughter Charlee turned 3. Time has gone by so quickly. She is a bundle of personality and joy. A tradition we started with our kids is they get some of their presents and birthday cake for breakfast the morning of their birthday. On this morning had victory over the cupcake.

January 29 the day of the party my husband picked up the cake and met me at the party. It was a Dora cupcake cake. Do you know how much icing they use for these things? Do you know that is my favorite part of a cake? The smell was intoxicating. My husband and some sweet friends passed out the cake to the guest to help me not give in. Again victory over the cupcake.

January 30 I was left alone with the leftover cake. I had work to do this morning and we skipped church. David took the kids to the park, so I could work. When my family left, my first thought was: I am alone with cake. This was scary. Could I trust myself? I threw myself into my work in my bedroom.....the farthest room from the cupcakes. Later in the day, I wrap up my work and begin on things around the house. I am feeling very overwhelmed with things that need to be done at this point, and the thoughts of a little bite enter my head. I get irritable, frustrated. I felt like I was doing all the work and my husband was not helping. Did I ask him to help......? No. I think my cupcake thoughts invaded my brain and made me crazy. We got into a little argument because of this, which intensified my desire and temptation for the thick icing on those cupcakes. So, I went to church. It was good. It was a time of praise and prayer and boy did I need some. Add insult to injury the kids heard our fighting. I was now on a guilt trip. The trip was lengthened when I got home and my husband informed me of comments made by my oldest daughter. When she arrived home I told her we were sorry for fighting and that mommy and daddy loved each other very much. My husband made the kids some dinner, with a cupcake. Uggg....I felt drunk from the fumes. I had to call my sponsor. The air between my husband and I was not completely cleared, so words were still a little short. He said he would throw the cupcakes away, and my statement was: that does not mean I can not get them out. He said now that is just gross Shelly.

I know its gross. I know how sick it sounds. However, that is what a compulsive overeater will do. Any lengths to get the bite. I did not want to ruin my days of not eating those certain sweets, but I was overwhelmed with life and temptation. I talked to my sponsor and my mom who helped me through and my husband ran an errand for me and threw the cupcakes away...far far away.

Woman 3 Cupcakes 0. Victory.

Two weeks later we celebrated my husbands birthday with no temptation to the cupcakes.

Woman 4 Cupcakes 0. Victory!!!!