Tuesday, August 27, 2013

The First Day of School


I was being a bit sulky about it, but was fine as we were getting ready for the day. The first day of school.   The excitement in their faces was priceless.  We took the famous back to school pictures and we were off. We dropped the kindergartner off first. She was ready, I walked out and the tears just came.  I just left my baby.  She would now be in school 5 days a week for roughly 160 something days for the next 13 years.  There is apart of my life that is over.  I have so much to look forward to, yet feel so sad at the season I am leaving behind. My 4th grader did not understand....at all....I am sure her eyes rolled a time or two.  She said I could walk her in but gave me plenty of boundaries.  Really??  My child is old enough to need space in social situations.  It really does seem like she was born yesterday.

I had such grandiose ideas for our summer.  I pinned so many fun activities that just sat in the world of Pinterest, untouched. I had this fantasy of one last summer, but reality was different.  Our summer was busy and it flew by.  We did accomplish some much needed fun, family time, and relaxation.  We also had growing pains, fighting between siblings, and mama losing her patience a time or two or three. And now its over.  I can't change a thing.  I can't change how I over reacted.  I can't change what we did or did not do. However, I can look back on the summer of 2013 as the summer that God answered prayers.  I had prayed for one last summer and He gave that to me.  I prayed about the weight loss show and what that could mean for my family and He answered that too.  I can remember the moments my kids cheered for me as I worked out.   I can remember the time my 9 year old faced her fear and rode the Superman. I can remember them getting a new puppy. I can remember them holding hands and jumping in the pool.  I am so thankful for the many memories and moments and what I can learn from them.

I had to go to Target yesterday and I watched several moms with their preschoolers and I cried.  It hurt my heart. How fast it goes!!!

Now I confess I think I will be fine all to quickly.  Going to the store alone is much easier.  Working out without them gives me one less worry as I attempt to maintain form and push through mentally.  Having these school days when I don't have to work, will give me time to accomplish things, renew, and will help me be a better mom.

But,  I pray that I can hold onto the ache in my heart as the managed chaos of the school year begins. I pray that I can remember this feeling so that when I want to react in anger or impatience that I instead choose gentleness and peace.   I pray that I hold on to the emotions so that I can soak up the moments of the next season. It too will be gone in the blink of an eye.

Who knows what God will do??

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

90 Day Goal, did I meet it or not??

Let me go back to the beginning before I tell you if I met my goal.  If you have read my past post I have dieted my whole life, but its been within the last few years that I have been working on doing things the right way.  Eating right, working out, allowing God to heal me and change me from the inside out. Its been a long few years and there have been so many people who have supported me, encouraged me, and cheered me on.  ( Thank you to all of you!!)
This is my starting pic from March 2011 at my heaviest
I made many efforts to gain health since this picture, but it was a a battle!  Some progress was made.  It was trying out for Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition that really gave me the push to fight again after my knee surgery.  I have now been fighting since May 20.  August 17 marked 90 days. The goal I had set for myself was 36lbs.  I did not make my goal,but I did loose 19.2, bringing my overall total to 45lbs!!! Happy, Happy, Happy.
Giving myself a visual

Even though it took me a few years to get in gear, the journey since April has been a blessing and God is transforming me.   Even though I did not meet the goal, there is change.

May 2013, July 2013, August 2013

March 2011, April 2013, August 2013

July 2013

All things through Christ!!!

Oh and today I did 100 jump ups, 100 push ups(not on my knees), 100 sit ups (still have to do 15 for my August ab challenge), 100 squats....all in 34:05!!!

If God can do the impossible in me, He can in you!

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Workout brings me to tears

Sunday:  Rest day. Family fun day. Hurricane Harbor day.  Lots of standing, walking, swimming.

Monday: Cleaning day. Laundry day.  Grocery shopping day.  Lots of standing and walking.  All members of family on cranky side.  Stressful day. Wanted PJs and bed. BUT MUST GET IN WORKOUT!!  ( I have come to far to skip a day) Crossfit day.

Did you catch all the standing and walking accomplished in 2 days??

The WOD(workout of the day) for Monday contained lots of squatting.  My legs felt a little like jello, so did my arms!  I met new people that night who encouraged and inspired me! I walked in cranky and stressed.  I walked out happier and less tense.

I awoke Tuesday very sore, however ready to take on the day.  I met with my trainer who did not feel sorry for me about my soreness and he pushed me.  He made me dribble a basketball around the court!  Apparently, he is unaware of my poor motor planning and coordination! ( In junior high I was the basketball book keeper or something.  I was not on the court!) The ab work we accomplished makes me think there is a 12 pack under there! (this helped with my August ab challenge for the day)  Oh, and he made me do ropes, which involve squatting on my already sore legs!

And somehow afterwards I am still smiling!
Thanks Bryan!

Then comes Wednesday.

This means I ran 800m
Did  weighted lunges, hang cleans, and push presses each with reps of 21,18,15,12,9,6, and 3
Then ran 800m again!!!

I was able to run the first 800m. I did all the reps, however had to put down the weight(35#) for lunges due to my knee during the process. I would look at what rep set I was on and think there is no way I can do this.  I would see the clock thinking I could not finish.  I would wonder how I could possibly wrap it all up with another run.  I just kept fighting.  I stared each number in the face and kept moving.  My whole body wanted to stop, but my heart wanted to finish.  I ran/walked that last 800m.  My kids ran with me the first lap, spurring me onward.  Coach Tim and Coach Shaun encouraged me. My kids went inside the second lap, but I could hear them cheering for me.  I finished in 30:45.  The intensity of this day was so much more than the 5ks I have ran, but finishing was similar.  I cried crossing the finish line of my 1st race and I cried finishing this WOD.   

I never thought I was strong enough!!!  Because of the one who made me I am!!!! Knowing I can conquer this physical challenge, gives me hope I can conquer the craziness of the upcoming school year, parenting, and weight loss. 

"I can do all things through Him who gives me strength"  Philippians 4:13

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Lessons from Day 1 at Crossfit

I am apart of a facebook group and many of the folks do crossfit....so I decided I wanted to try it.  I learned a lot on my first day!!!!

I researched several locations, asked around, and finally got the nerve to call 2 and ask questions.  I had to pick up a friend next door to one of the locations and briefly observed and quickly doubted my desire to try it.

 One of the guys I spoke with, Eric, was very personable. He made an excellent first impression on the phone.  I was concerned about participating due to my knee, weight, and ability.  He was very confident that I could do it.  His belief in me before I stepped through his door was encouraging, so I choose his place: http://www.kodiakcrossfit.com/

I made a post or 2 wondering if I should be scared or excited, I was both, my internet research of the word crossfit did not help much, but boy did I learn alot........

Lessons from Kodiak CrossFit

  • Be on time!!!!  I was a nervous wreck pulling up to the door in my swagger wagon, running a few minutes late.  I thought we left in plenty of time, but I did not allow for time finding the place. Eeeekkk! I was called out for that in a very gentle, yet authoritative manner (I had thought the in charge guy, Eric, was out of town.. he was back.  Although he was very nice on the phone, I did not want to make a fool of myself on my first day with the guy in charge there.)  This is a good lesson for me, I am always running late.
  • I can still jump rope. Due to my tardiness I missed the warm up, so I had to jump rope. I was so scared.  I was afraid my body and my knee could not do that 1x much less 200x.  Eric has a very nice padded floor, so it was easier on my joints and I pulled it off.  My lungs were on fire, they might still be today.  
  • If being easy on me is using no weights and making me do 5 rounds of 6 burpees, 8 over head walking lunges, and sit ups I am not sure I want to see or do hard.  That is 30 burpees!!!!!  Who does that?? 
  • That the people are nice!!!  It is much different than a gym atmosphere! When I walked in, late, all I saw were guys. Very intimidating....very. These guys were so welcoming!!  Not judging. As much as I was questioning myself for being there , I never once felt like anyone in that room questioned me being there. Eric was so encouraging every step of the way and the guys were as well.  
  • This is not a place to say I can't.  Its a place to give effort! And there is no doubt in my mind that if I ended up not doing something, that I would be encouraged and would be able to do it at some point.
  • I can complete a crossfit WOD!  When a room of people are working hard you don't want to quit! I thought I would compare myself to others, but I didn't. It's not about that. It's about where I have come from and where I am going.   It was about me doing the best I could, giving it my all, and doing better the next time.
  • Its a challenge worth taking and I loved it. I did not expect to like it as much as I did.  I have done spin classes which are fun. Zumba classes which remind me I am not a dancer, but I enjoy it.  But there is something amazing about the hard challenge of crossfit, I guess you could compare it to the runner's high.  
I like being pushed. That is one of the many reasons I tired out for a TV show.....to have someone push me.  I  love that God has placed people and places in my life to do just that!  

I plan on going back  for the next month.  I am sure there will be lessons learned, tears cried, and strength built, and maybe, just maybe a few pounds lost.

Visit my new friends at Kodiak CrossFit!  

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!"  Philippians 4:13


What does being radical mean to you?? 

Recently, I got to share what God has been teaching me after reading the book Radical by David Platt.

I looked up the word radical in my bible app and found the message version has several verses about being radical.  They speak of a radical life-change, a radical new kind of law, a radical turn to God, and a radical trust.  (please see Acts 19:4, Mark 6:12, Acts 20:17, Acts 17:30, Acts 26:19, Hebrews 7:11, and Romans 2:3 in the Message).  I want this!

The Lord showed me 3 areas to improve in:

1. Being radical in my relationship with Jesus:
     Did you read the definition to radical ?   We can be become more radical by growing from our root, and our root is Jesus!  The definition that really struck me was "designed to remove the root of a disease or all diseased and potentially diseased tissue".  This is what happens when we spend time with Jesus- He is our greatest physician.  He is our root we need to grow from and as we spend time with Him, He removes the bad root of our disease.

How can we be radical in this area?:  memorizing scripture, praising, prayer, raising hands in worship or maybe clapping, being in relationship with Jesus (just as we spend time with our family, spouses, friends, we must spend time Him), being loving, not judging. One of my favorite places to worship and pray it all out- and I do mean all, is the gym.  A lot of wrestling life out happens on the elliptical!!!

2. Being radical in our relationships with others:
  • our spouses - forgiving them, stop nagging, lifting them up not tearing them down, respecting them, for me maybe I quit complaining about the jelly I find after a midnight snack or maybe when I am frustrated I quit taking it out on him.
  • our kids -put aside cleaning the house to play, putting down our phones to actually watch when they say "mom watch this", teaching them scripture, making a PB&J, saying no or maybe saying yes, being calmer
  • others - listening, preferring others, praying with them and for them, spending time, being honest, holding each other accountable, putting our phones down,  laughing

Family fun at Six Flags.  We  met up with some good friends there.
Putting aside the to do list and my phone - just being in the presence of people.  
3. Being radical with ourselves:
  • forgiving ourselves
  • loving ourselves
  • taking time for ourselves
  • not talking bad about ourselves
  • not being too hard on ourselves
Our love for ourselves grows our of our root- Jesus.  How rooted are you?  How rooted am I? Do we really believe we are fearfully and wonderfully made?

Being radical with myself is hard.  I have talked bad about myself most of my life.  However, the journey through the casting call of Extreme Makeover provided so much healing.  God created me.  I am precious in His sight.  I may have made mistakes in the past, I know I will make some today, and maybe even tomorrow, but there is no condemnation in Him.  There is a difference in knowing where we are weak and putting ourselves down. 

I had a friend tell me, after someone told her, dress like you love yourself.  This has become a huge statement and has helped me step out of my box. I don't like to wear sleeveless shirts, but I have over the last month. My friend bought me a tank top and I love it. I am so thankful for the work He is doing in me.  He is growing me, molding me, and making me stronger physically, spiritually, and emotionally.

We have to reframe our minds.  I heard someone say at bible study "God's Word is truer than how I feel!" His word says I am wonderfully made!

Deuteronomy 12:18 (message version) says "You are to celebrate in the Presence of God, all the things you've been able to accomplish"

At the end of the day instead of beating yourself up with could haves, would haves, should haves, celebrate in the Presence of God, all the things you've have been able to accomplish.

Which of the 3 areas of being radical spoke to you?  Do you have any suggestions on how to be more radical?