Saturday, September 12, 2015

Surgery Again

Surgery, again.

At least this time I will not be needing a walker or crutches afterwards!!!!  Gotta look on the bright side, right??

Here is a brief time line of the last 3 years:
2012- Right meniscus surgery, followed by weeks of physical therapy
2013- Left meniscus surgery, followed by weeks of physical therapy
2013 - Pneumonia for about 2 months
2013-  Major dental work, beginning in Feb lasting 15-18 months, including surgeries, root canals, and a new bridge

During this time in November of 2014 I wrote this post Feeling like He isn't Coming Through and a short 4 months later in March of this year I posted about my monthly focus Be Still.

If you didn't click on those links, here's the cliff notes:  I was feeling like God wasn't coming through for me and He gently reminded me He already had and after worrying and fretting He reminded me to focus on being still. My mind was running crazy for numerous reasons, one was a thyroid nodule and a biopsy to go with it.

I have continued to focus on my one word for the year with a different focus every month.  I have continued my journey to health.  However, while making progress with workouts, I have not seemed to make a lot of progress with numbers.  Yes, I confess my eating could be a little cleaner on the weekends, but all and all to not have much difference has had me frustrated, I have even gained.

Maybe, just maybe the story below is why and maybe, just maybe after it is "fixed" I can continue to make progress!!!!

About a month ago I  went to the doctor for shortness of breath and coughing and was treated for bronchitis.  On August 31st I had  my follow up with my ENT regarding this nodule and was sent for a sonogram later in the week and on September 2nd I choose my focus  Be Fighting, little did I know I would need to include surgery in that fight. Apparently this shortness of breath and cough could actually be due to this thyroid nodule putting pressure on my trachea.  It has grown and there are now 2 on the right side measuring over 5cm and 2 on left that are small.  There is small chance that there is cancer, I have had two docs say while possible they do not think they will find any.   I was talking to a friend the other night and told her that the doc said 10-20% chance it could be and she said that is 80-90% chance it is not.  I like those chances and that outlook!!! 

In July I heard Christine Caine preach, she had just gone through thyroid cancer. The friend that attended with me had just been through thyroid surgery. I am believing I don't have cancer,  but I learned a lot from her that night and from her post regarding facing the struggle. Since I know that I know that God has already come through for me, I want to face this surgery like Christine Caine faced hers.

I confess I have a tendency to kinda freak out about surgery.  I have been through a lot of health struggles in the last 3 years and just in the last 4 months a lot of personal struggles.  It would be no surprise if I just lost it......but as Herbert Cooper says, "But God changes everything." 

Whatever you are going through God really does change everything!!

I have a history of letting fear take hold of me.  I love what Christine
Caine says in her post "I had a faith battle ahead of me, and the real enemy was not cancer, but fear."  I have a faith battle ahead of me too, and the real enemy is not the slight possibility of cancer, or surgery, but it is fear.

I want to choose to be fighting. I want to choose to not be paralyzed by fear, and I want to choose to allow God to change everything.

Read the post by Christine Caine here.  May it encourage you in whatever battle your facing.


Be Fighting!!

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Be Fighting

 Another month. Another focus. One word, one year.  My one word is be.  I have taken that one word and focused every month on a way to be, a way to live.

This month my focus is be fighting

I began writing this post last week.  I was going to have it ready to hit publish yesterday, but I didn't finish.  I had planned for September's focus to be, be rooted, but God had other plans.

When I was writing the post last week, the words coming out were originating from an emotional place.  What I was feeling and thinking could only be managed by being rooted in Christ, so much of the last few years of my life have been this way.   I know that anything I will go through in the future can only be managed by being rooted in Christ.   That is how I came up with the focus be rooted.

Here is how I started that post:
How do you live life when everything feels unsettled?  When things seem all up in the air or even shattered on the ground?  How do you live life when prayers go unanswered? When your heart breaks??

This. Life. Is. Hard!!!

Extremely Hard.

I am not going to go into details about what is hard in my life, because there is so much to it and we would be here for hours...and there is counseling for that, and yes I am in it.  My hard actually started at my last knee surgery in December of 2013 and has continued from thing after another, but since May it has escalated.

As I have gone through some of this hard stuff and continue to attempt to get through it I have seen a few things.

1.) All too often we compare ourselves with others and attempt to one up each other. Women do it with one another.  Husbands and wives.  Parents and children.   Constantly trying to out do who had a harder day, who had to serve more, who had to give more, who was stretched the most, who is going through the most.   Maybe instead of attempting to one up each other, we should really stop, listen, pray, and encourage.

2.)  Dori in Finding Nemo had it right....just keep swimming.

3.)  As you walk through the hard, you have to be rooted.

Today as I read back over these words I still think them, but now that my emotions have settled I  know that I am rooted, not that I shouldn't ever dig deeper, but I know I am rooted.  I know that because I am rooted, I can see God's hand in some of this hard stuff!!  My ground has been shaken, if I am honest even my faith.  Maybe yours has been shaken as well??    Just because my ground has been shaken and even my faith does not mean I am not rooted.  Just because your ground has been shaken does not mean your not rooted.

My husband and I saw the movie War Room over the weekend, it was all about fighting. 
Fighting through prayer.   To help me dig deeper, get water to my roots, and settle my shaky ground I need to focus on fighting.

 Fighting in prayer for my family.  Fighting in prayer for my marriage. Fighting in prayer for my children. Fighting in prayer for my health. Fighting in prayer for my weight loss journey.  Fighting in prayer for my neighbors and friends. Fighting in prayer for the things that shake my ground. Fighting in prayer for others.

I have posted some about prayer in the past, I considered myself prayerful, however this movie changed all that.  This movie challenged me to up my battle plan.  Life is challenging.  Life is hard.  I want to be fighting.

Will you join me??  If I can fight for you let me know!


Be Fighting.