Thursday, December 3, 2015

Be Joyful

One word. One year.

Almost two years ago I moved from New Years resolutions (not that I really made any...if I did I certainly didn't keep them)  to focusing on one word for one year.  I am absolutely sold on this concept. Seriously, if you haven't read the book, you should!!    It came from the book called One Word That Will Change Your Life by Jon Gordon, Dan Briton, and Jimmy Page.

I love the meaning of the word BE!!

According to Merriam-Webster be is,
—used to indicate the identity of a person or thing
—used to describe the qualities of a person or thing
—used to indicate the condition of a person or thing

According to be means to exist or live.

I chose to focus on a different BE every month:

Be disciplined
Be intentional
Be fighting
Be focused
Be resilient
Be honest
Be thankful
Be listening
Be still
Be consistent
Be present

I almost feel sad writing this post, I have spent an entire year with this word. How do I end my year with this word??  This. Is. It.  My last focus. I can't believe it is almost time to pick a new word!!! I am very excited about praying for a new one for 2016, but a lot happened in 2015 with this word!!!  It is a little hard to think about leaving it....and there are so many things I want to do I pick a focus for this month??

It has been hard to pick one!!!  This has actually been the hardest one to pick.   I almost didn't make a choice...I was just going to focus on the word BE itself and what it means, but after thinking about it more today I did choose.

It sounded so cliché' to pick it, but I think it is a great focus amongst the hustle and bustle of December.  

My focus for December, my last focus for 2015 is BE joyful. 

This month is filled with so much to do..... it can be stressful.  It can be so stressful that we miss moments, moments that should be filled with joy.  Moments to remind our kids about Jesus.  Moments to soak up those favorite times of baking cookies.  Moments to give and serve. Moments to fellowship with others. 

So, this month I want to be in the moments!!   I don't want to get wrapped up in the stress and busyness of this month....I have so many reasons to be joyful!!

One word. One year.


Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Be Disciplined

I am 4 days behind getting my focus for the month out!!!!  I only have one more focus for 2015!!!  That blows my mind!! How did that even happen??

My focus for November is to be disciplined.

I chose this focus because,  I signed up for a training online that I am very excited about.  I want to be disciplined to use the training, which means I need to be disciplined in my time management. 

Of course I want to carry over some of the things I wanted to be intentional about from last month, but this month I want to be disciplined to manage my time, to learn something new, and put what I learn to use.

"It was character that got us out of bed, commitment that moved us into action, and discipline that enabled us to follow through. " ~ Zig Ziglar

This month I want to follow through!. 


Be Disciplined.

Friday, October 2, 2015

Be Intentional

All things pumpkin, apple, hot tea, coffee, cooler weather, leaves changing, camping, baseball season coming to an end, football going in the background, shorter days, longer nights, light jackets, maybe even jeans. 


I love fall.  I love each season. 

October came fast though!! Really fast.  Normally, I have an idea of what my next month's focus will be, this month, not a clue.  I thought about it yesterday and toyed with some ideas, but today it was given to me.

Last month I focused on be fighting.  This focus helped keep me calm in the craziness of yet another surgery.  It also taught me a lot about prayer.  I will continue to be fighting.  I am healing well from my surgery and I am so thankful that I can report the nodule was benign!!!!!  I am so thankful that Jesus kept me calm and answered that prayer.  The nodule was pressing on my trachea, so I am also thankful it is out!!  I can even workout as tolerated now!!!  We will check my thyroid levels in a few weeks. Check your neck y'all!!! 

During my downtime I have spent a lot of time alone, reading, watching Gilmore Girls (how did I never watch this show before??), sleeping, and relaxing.  It has been restful, but I confess it has been lonely as well.  I have checked Facebook a lot!

One of the books I am reading is Simply Tuesday by Emily P. Freeman, she writes about friendship in one of her chapters and as I read I felt relief to know I am not alone.   I am like her, I know a lot of people and have many acquaintances.  I can make an acquaintance just about anywhere. Her words that convicted me the most were "I could either continue as I was, waiting for people to show up and surround me, or I could decide to move myself toward people."  I often sit around waiting for people.  My husband has heard me complain a lot about my lack of people.

As an adult making connecting friendships is hard.  We are all so busy with our routines, homes, work, kids, family, and at the end of the day instead of putting an effort into friendships we crash into our beds with our books, our reality TV, and our Facebook.  This seems easier than risking putting yourself  out there, even though you desire to connect. I like Facebook, but it really is the lazy way of being friends. Don't get me wrong I have a friend in my inner circle, but I believe God wants that circle to grow and not just in the number of friends I have on Facebook.   For that circle to grow, I have to be intentional.

So that is this month's focus to be intentional.

Emily P. Freeman says, "The truth is, people need our with-ness. They don't need for us to impress them with how spiritual we are. They need to know they aren't alone."  For people to know they are not alone we have to be intentional about sharing with them and spending time with them.

I have many other things I need/want to be intentional about, so this month's focus is about that too.

I need to be intentional about my diet on the weekends.  I do fairly well on the weekdays, but weekends are tough.  And I haven't done well since I had surgery. 

I need to be intentional about time with my kids, my husband. 

I need to be intentional about organizing those papers, cleaning out that closest. 

I need to be intentional with workouts, even more than workouts, stretching!! 

I need to be intentional about my faith. 

I want to be intentional about scrapbooking. 

What do you need to be intentional about?? 


Be Intentional!!

Saturday, September 12, 2015

Surgery Again

Surgery, again.

At least this time I will not be needing a walker or crutches afterwards!!!!  Gotta look on the bright side, right??

Here is a brief time line of the last 3 years:
2012- Right meniscus surgery, followed by weeks of physical therapy
2013- Left meniscus surgery, followed by weeks of physical therapy
2013 - Pneumonia for about 2 months
2013-  Major dental work, beginning in Feb lasting 15-18 months, including surgeries, root canals, and a new bridge

During this time in November of 2014 I wrote this post Feeling like He isn't Coming Through and a short 4 months later in March of this year I posted about my monthly focus Be Still.

If you didn't click on those links, here's the cliff notes:  I was feeling like God wasn't coming through for me and He gently reminded me He already had and after worrying and fretting He reminded me to focus on being still. My mind was running crazy for numerous reasons, one was a thyroid nodule and a biopsy to go with it.

I have continued to focus on my one word for the year with a different focus every month.  I have continued my journey to health.  However, while making progress with workouts, I have not seemed to make a lot of progress with numbers.  Yes, I confess my eating could be a little cleaner on the weekends, but all and all to not have much difference has had me frustrated, I have even gained.

Maybe, just maybe the story below is why and maybe, just maybe after it is "fixed" I can continue to make progress!!!!

About a month ago I  went to the doctor for shortness of breath and coughing and was treated for bronchitis.  On August 31st I had  my follow up with my ENT regarding this nodule and was sent for a sonogram later in the week and on September 2nd I choose my focus  Be Fighting, little did I know I would need to include surgery in that fight. Apparently this shortness of breath and cough could actually be due to this thyroid nodule putting pressure on my trachea.  It has grown and there are now 2 on the right side measuring over 5cm and 2 on left that are small.  There is small chance that there is cancer, I have had two docs say while possible they do not think they will find any.   I was talking to a friend the other night and told her that the doc said 10-20% chance it could be and she said that is 80-90% chance it is not.  I like those chances and that outlook!!! 

In July I heard Christine Caine preach, she had just gone through thyroid cancer. The friend that attended with me had just been through thyroid surgery. I am believing I don't have cancer,  but I learned a lot from her that night and from her post regarding facing the struggle. Since I know that I know that God has already come through for me, I want to face this surgery like Christine Caine faced hers.

I confess I have a tendency to kinda freak out about surgery.  I have been through a lot of health struggles in the last 3 years and just in the last 4 months a lot of personal struggles.  It would be no surprise if I just lost it......but as Herbert Cooper says, "But God changes everything." 

Whatever you are going through God really does change everything!!

I have a history of letting fear take hold of me.  I love what Christine
Caine says in her post "I had a faith battle ahead of me, and the real enemy was not cancer, but fear."  I have a faith battle ahead of me too, and the real enemy is not the slight possibility of cancer, or surgery, but it is fear.

I want to choose to be fighting. I want to choose to not be paralyzed by fear, and I want to choose to allow God to change everything.

Read the post by Christine Caine here.  May it encourage you in whatever battle your facing.


Be Fighting!!

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Be Fighting

 Another month. Another focus. One word, one year.  My one word is be.  I have taken that one word and focused every month on a way to be, a way to live.

This month my focus is be fighting

I began writing this post last week.  I was going to have it ready to hit publish yesterday, but I didn't finish.  I had planned for September's focus to be, be rooted, but God had other plans.

When I was writing the post last week, the words coming out were originating from an emotional place.  What I was feeling and thinking could only be managed by being rooted in Christ, so much of the last few years of my life have been this way.   I know that anything I will go through in the future can only be managed by being rooted in Christ.   That is how I came up with the focus be rooted.

Here is how I started that post:
How do you live life when everything feels unsettled?  When things seem all up in the air or even shattered on the ground?  How do you live life when prayers go unanswered? When your heart breaks??

This. Life. Is. Hard!!!

Extremely Hard.

I am not going to go into details about what is hard in my life, because there is so much to it and we would be here for hours...and there is counseling for that, and yes I am in it.  My hard actually started at my last knee surgery in December of 2013 and has continued from thing after another, but since May it has escalated.

As I have gone through some of this hard stuff and continue to attempt to get through it I have seen a few things.

1.) All too often we compare ourselves with others and attempt to one up each other. Women do it with one another.  Husbands and wives.  Parents and children.   Constantly trying to out do who had a harder day, who had to serve more, who had to give more, who was stretched the most, who is going through the most.   Maybe instead of attempting to one up each other, we should really stop, listen, pray, and encourage.

2.)  Dori in Finding Nemo had it right....just keep swimming.

3.)  As you walk through the hard, you have to be rooted.

Today as I read back over these words I still think them, but now that my emotions have settled I  know that I am rooted, not that I shouldn't ever dig deeper, but I know I am rooted.  I know that because I am rooted, I can see God's hand in some of this hard stuff!!  My ground has been shaken, if I am honest even my faith.  Maybe yours has been shaken as well??    Just because my ground has been shaken and even my faith does not mean I am not rooted.  Just because your ground has been shaken does not mean your not rooted.

My husband and I saw the movie War Room over the weekend, it was all about fighting. 
Fighting through prayer.   To help me dig deeper, get water to my roots, and settle my shaky ground I need to focus on fighting.

 Fighting in prayer for my family.  Fighting in prayer for my marriage. Fighting in prayer for my children. Fighting in prayer for my health. Fighting in prayer for my weight loss journey.  Fighting in prayer for my neighbors and friends. Fighting in prayer for the things that shake my ground. Fighting in prayer for others.

I have posted some about prayer in the past, I considered myself prayerful, however this movie changed all that.  This movie challenged me to up my battle plan.  Life is challenging.  Life is hard.  I want to be fighting.

Will you join me??  If I can fight for you let me know!


Be Fighting.

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Be Focused

August already??  July flew by.  I loved my focus in July, be resilient. I could camp out on that focus for a while, but it's time to face the music of a new month.

July has led to 3 different ideas about my focus for August, and as I have prayed I through the answer was be surrendered.  I practically had a post all written, when I felt Jesus tug at my heart to change it.  My focus for August is to be focused.

In July, even in June, I was focused, but it was on the wrong thing!  At a recent event with Christine Caine she said "We are so stressed about being stressed"!  This has been me lately.  The more stressed I am the more OCD I feel, increasing my focus on the problems, and my stress about being stressed!
(I  have been so focused on the stress I haven't even lost much weight, but I have faced my fear of the intimidating side of the gym....but that is another post!)

This month I need to adjust my focus. I recently finished reading Unstoppable  by Christine Caine,   she gently reminded me "Whatever I chose to focus on had my attention." 

I need to widen the lens of my perception to see a bigger picture and not zero in on the problems. 

My focal point needs to be Jesus and not the storms around me.

She continued to tug at my heart with "By looking at your circumstances through the lens of God's eternal truth rather than through the lens of your temporal circumstance, you won't allow external circumstances to steal your internal peace. Remember, the size of that dot is determined by the focus you give it, so magnify the Lord so you can see that God is bigger than the circumstance you face and is at work through it."

So this month let's be focused.  Focus not on the stresses, not on the problems, not on the obstacles, not on the scale, but on the bigger picture, on the blessings, on the good things, on non scale victories, on progress, on what your learning, on the journey....on Jesus.

All things through Christ.


Be Focused.

Sunday, July 5, 2015

Be Resilient

Last summer we slowed down, this summer feels like we have been in overdrive. How is it July 5th and I am just writing about my focus for the month??  I think its due to the busyness of my days and the hesitance to put it into words.

When I prayed about my one word, be, for 2015 and decided that I would focus on a different be every month, I never imagined the places it would take me each month.

My weight loss journey has been filled with God transforming me inside out, with the last 18 months being extremely difficult, transformation has been slow physically, but God has continued to work mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
 This kind of work is HARD!!!!!  Can't I just transform physically without dealing with the stuff???

This month's inside work has been the hardest.  I have dealt with OCD, anxiety, and at times depression type tendencies before in my life and the events, circumstances, and changes lately have come crashing down on me causing the tendencies to increase.  I feel like I am suffocating beneath the stuff.

I have made the decision to work through some of my stuff with a counselor, he gave me some homework and from the work I found my focus for July.  I was reading through the homework sheets that I felt like were pressing issues for me, including grief recovery (check out his site here, the sheet I read is from  One sentence stuck out at me.... "God made you to be resilient by equipping you to adapt mentally, emotionally, and spiritually to new situations." I made a note on the paper, I don't feel that I am, therefore bringing me my focus for July....Be resilient. 

According to Merrian-Webster resilient means:
  • able to become strong, healthy, or successful again after something bad happens
  • able to return to an original shape after being pulled, stretched, pressed, bent, etc
  • capable of withstanding shock without permanent deformation or rupture
  • tending to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change 
I love the definition!! I have dealt with a lot of bad, I am currently being pulled, stretched, pressed, there have been circumstances that have created shock, and oh so much change.  I don't feel resilient, but at the end of this month, with a little more counseling, a little heavy lifting (I am going to have to make myself go to the intimidating side of the gym, lifting helps), some coffee, and a whole lot of Jesus prayerfully I will be a bit more resilient than I am now.  


Be Resilient.

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Be Honest

The last 3.5 weeks have been hard. Very hard.

There has been a significant loss in my family.  Loss brings with it tons of emotions, from hurt feelings, to lots of love, and everything in between.

For a girl who has turned to food to self-regulate emotions, feelings, and thoughts this has been a challenge.

While eating fairly well M-F, the weekends have suffered. My workouts have too.

I had to go out of town due to the situation with my family.  I am incredibly thankful I was able to be there.  I didn't stress about not logging my food.  I didn't stress about what I was eating.  I didn't feel guilty.  I owe this freedom from guilt to Jesus and my personal trainer.

I came back home after being gone 7 days physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted, so the  week I returned wasn't great.  I did not get back on track, but I didn't stress about this nor did my trainer.  Although the reality of the here and now was not on point, the big picture showed progress.

The next week I was celebrating my wedding anniversary and I had other plans that week too, so yet again not a great week.  I didn't track well, eat good, or workout much.  I met with my trainer on Wednesday May 27th for the last time face to face, the day after my anniversary dinner.  I was honest about it not being the best nutritionally, but didn't feel guilty.  (Real events, real life happens on this  journey.)  My last day was supposed to be today,  but with work and last week of school stuff for my kids, I had to mark something off.  I did join a gym and committed to still working fact I have gone 4 out of the last 7 days.  Adam and I also made an appointment to catch up on the phone in a few weeks since I needed to lighten my load.

Although I was honest with Adam about my anniversary meal, I wasn't honest with him about how I was really doing last week. I wasn't honest with anyone at first.  I didn't track it either, but the evidence was on the scale, in my head, and in my heart.  It started with a specific craving and it grew into days of binging.  Hiding the trash of food I ate. Buying food and eating a few items out of the package, but finding a trash can on the way home to throw the rest away, so I wouldn't eat the whole box.   The food soothed some of the emotions I felt, but now I felt guilt.  I also felt physically bad. 

All of the stuff over the last 18 months came flooding over me last week and all I could seem to do was eat.

With that said as I focus on the word "be" in 2015 this month's focus is to be honest!

I don't want to lie about where I am with food and emotions. Since Monday I have gotten back on track. One day I took a picture of my fitbit numbers and myfitnesspal numbers posting them on social media. I will continue to do that on occasions this month to help me be honest. 

Tonight I have dinner plans.  This weekend I have plans.  I will track them as best I can even if I am over on my calories.  I will not feel guilty for living life, but I will also not feed my emotions.  I will remember how good a workout feels and how good I feel when I am not binging.

I listened to a podcast yesterday.  The podcast is titled Coffee with Chris.  In one that I listened to Christine Caine said "Failure is an event, not who you are." 

The last week of binge eating, was an event not who I am. 


Be Honest 

All things through Christ

Tuesday, May 5, 2015


My journey to health has many different roads. Weight loss is one of the long, twisting, winding  roads that I am traveling, but other roads exist on the journey, often times the roads intersect.  All the roads make up who I am and make up The Skinny on Shelly.  One of the roads that is vital for me on my journey to health is my faith.  Jesus has brought so much healing, forgiveness, strength, and grace to my life.  He is helping heal what causes me to "use" food, He gives me strength to press on, He gives me grace to get up, and helps me walk in forgiveness.

I love to do bible studies!  I love how Jesus speaks to me through them.  In the last few months I have wanted to do my own study, but honestly I just wasn't sure how, so I met with a wonderful pastor here in town.  She told me how she studies.  I ordered books and picked my first book to really study on my own...Hosea. In the midst of studying Hosea I also studied the word heal, along with it's friends healed, healer, healeth, healing, healings, and health.

I picked Hosea because I knew the basics of the story and I was drawn to it.  God asked Hosea to marry a woman with a past and a present and he obeyed.  I love, LOVE that God gave Gomer a husband.  It didn't matter what she was wrapped up in, He gave her someone to love her.  How much more does He do that for us?  So often we feel unworthy, unlovable.  We are a hot mess, but God loves us where we are just like Hosea did for Gomer. ( I am so glad He obeyed!)  God draws us to Himself just as we are. 

Through Hosea I also learned that sometimes God may lead us to a desert so He can speak tenderly to us. I was reminded that there are no prerequisites...we can come JUST AS WE ARE.   

There is so much more I learned, but we would be here all day, and I must get ready for work. 

To sum up my study:  God is in the business of healing and restoration! 

Whatever your dealing with He loves you and wants to bring healing and renewal to your life.
It doesn't matter who you are, what you have done, or where you come from. There is nothing, nothing that will separate you from the love of Christ!!!! (See Romans 8:39)

When you feel unworthy, unlovable, remember, He gives you worth.  He says you are worth His life!

 I wrapped up my study on  Hosea and thought I was done, but then on Friday I got an email about  someone named Jennifer Rothschild and her new study Hosea.  I purchased it and can't wait to study more. Check out her site:   I can't wait to dive into this study to see what she learned and what God will show me through her.

I know to help me on my journey I need God's restoration, healing, and unconditional love.

Let's keep pressing on!!!

Be Thankful

My focus based on my one word, be, in April was be listening...defiantly something to still work on, but May has arrived in full force and its time to focus on a different be. 

My life has felt crazy lately. Things breaking and needing replaced, and not just simple things, pricey things.  One kid needs surgery, one needs an orthodontic consult and these are pricey.  Job changes, extended family sickness, family stresses, soccer, end of school year happenings, soccer, meetings, work...just life...and I need to be thankful for this life.

May's focus is to be thankful. 

Thankful for the craziness of life.

Have an attitude of gratitude.

There is so much to be thankful for.  Thankfulness shouldn't just happen in November.


One word.

One year.

Be thankful.

Monday, April 13, 2015

Well, hello Monday and hello pity party

Well, hello Monday and hello pity party.

I was a mess of emotions this morning....from feeling sorry for myself to being mad at myself, and everything in between.

This morning my trainer Adam at Lose Inches-Personal Training had to play therapist not just trainer.  (I highly recommend him for his ability to do this!!!) 

Two years ago I walked into a casting call for Extreme Weight Loss, while this day changed my life, I was pouting this morning that I am not at my goal like others that went to casting calls for this same season,  pouting because I am not where I was a year ago, and pouting because I want to be.

However, I am not at my heaviest and I am not the same girl I was on April 13, 2013. 

April 13, 2013/April 12, 2015

April 13, 2013 was not my heaviest weight (that was March of 2011) and April 12, 2015 has not been my lowest weight in the last 2 years......that is why this is a journey.  No journey is paved with a straight line.  It's paved with twists, turns, and circles.

I am thankful for the journey.  I have met some amazing fitness professional in the area where I live and had the privilege of working with them.  I have met some amazing people through social media.  I have even gotten to speak with someone who was on the show.  I have learned to ask for help.  I have learned to share more feelings, instead of wearing them. Jesus has taught me many lessons (including this one) and walked through the last year plus of health issues with me. I even have new teeth to show for it (don't wrap you car around a light pole) and thankfully a benign biopsy. I am also learning to be more balanced instead of extreme. (I struggled with this back in January of 2014 and here I am still learning) (I think I just found my focus for May?? be balanced, see here for more on that)

In my letter to Chris Powell I wrote I wanted to leave a different legacy to my kids and I am.  My kids have been learning to eat more healthy foods over the last 2 years, how to make healthier choices, how to make treats healthier, and my oldest daughter wants to run a 5k with me.

I may not be at my goal weight, but there is transformation. I will keep fighting.  I will not give up.  I know that my story is not finished.  Jesus and I are still writing.
Whatever journey your on don't quit.  Whatever you want to be in 2015, don't give up. Obstacles, detours, circles, are all part of the journey and the learning.  Keep putting one foot in front of the other.  Keep showing up!
I wrote this letter to myself in this post  in November of 2013 and wanted to remind myself again.  I hope it helps you too.
Dear Shelly,

Do you understand how far you have come?  How far God has brought you on this journey?? At your heaviest you were tired, anxious, depressed. Everything was hard...everything!!  Your emotions controlled your food choices. After losing some weight, you then had the courage to try our for a TV show and have continued to fight ever since. Did you know that no matter what you put in your mouth or how your workout went, you Shelly are fearfully and wonderfully made??  The bible tells you so!  Did you know that in any journey to see some rainbows, you have to have a little rain?? This week is just a little rain.  Don't let it drown you! God did not bring you this far to leave you! Remember when you don't eat well, you don't feel well.  How do you want to feel today? You are worth the hard work, time, and effort this journey takes! You have 2 girls snuggled in their beds that are watching your journey. You have a husband who loves you and supports your efforts.  Remember your trying to leave a different legacy, and you are.  The goals you have before you will take time to reach. You will take 2 steps forward and 4 steps back at times, but you know God has surrounded you with what you need for your journey.  Yes, you fell down this week physically(I fell during a workout this week, thus facing a fear) and with food, but that does not mean you quit.  It means you faced some fears and have some choices.  Will you get back up and not allow yourself to be tangled up in the web of old habits?  There is a great quote in the ebook "The Unwired Mom" by Sarah Mae "And when you do mess it all up, there is grace that says, "It's okay, you're covered. Get up and try again. You are not alone in this." 

You got this, all things through Christ.

Friday, April 3, 2015

Be Listening

"You're short on ears and long on mouth" - John Wayne

One word, one year.


Focusing on how I want to live....that is what this one word be means.  Each month as I have focused on something, I am finding it is usually something I need to improve on!!!

January's focus was to be present.
February was to be consistent.
March was to be still.  (I really like this one, my mind needs to remember to be still!!!)

All areas I need to continue to focus on being.

April's focus is to be listening. 

Listening to God.  Listening to the needs around me.  Listening to my family. Listening to words. Listening to music. Listening to my body. Listening to my trainer.  Listening to the quiet.

Be listening.

I tend to often to react to what my kids say and not listen.  I hear the first words that come out of their sweet mouths and react.

I found 2 quotes that at times sums up my parenting:

"Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. " - Stephen R. Covey


"We talked for four hours. Well, I talked for four, and she listened for two" - Jarod Kintz

Often times my listening is blocked by distractions.... technology, my thoughts, my to do list. and even my own talking.

I don't want to miss something, because I am not listening.

So you have something to say to me April is the month to say it.

Be listening!!

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Getting back on the bike

Journeys are often paved with rocky roads.....mine included.  I have been making effort, but I have struggled a lot over the last year and my effort is not effective.   I told someone recently I feel like I fell off my bike and I just need a little push, a little help learning to get on again. 

I stated in my last post, I am not where I was physically or mentally, but I am not where I started either, and I know that my journey is not over!

April 2013/February 2015
I left crossfit in December and planned to workout at home. My husband and I agreed that I could do crossfit, if I worked enough hours to cover the cost....I wasn't able to do that (that's a long story).  I felt convicted that I wasn't holding up my end of the bargain after having lunch with a friend and reading an article. Jesus was calling me to honor my husband and I wanted to be I quit.
However.....that did not go so well. I felt completely lost on my journey.  I spent hours researching diet plans, instead of listening to Jesus.  I spent hours re-reading diet books, instead of listening to my body.  I let ALL the diet voices throughout my life get in my head. I found myself feeling similar to the day I tried out for Extreme Weight Loss.  I also found myself thinking I should try out again, but I couldn't. I have shown myself capable of weight loss at home, but can't leave my family.  Tween years are to hard and my youngest kinda likes her mama. I just couldn't bring myself to try out. 
I thought about crossfit again, but I still wasn't working enough hours and I feel like I need some one on one help to get me back on the bike and push me.  In January I found someone. I was very impressed with his response to my email. He has great insight into this journey I am on and is very encouraging.
Yall meet Adam:

Check out his website!!!
Did you check out his website??  Okay then keep reading!  :)
I am thrilled to get to begin working out with Adam next week. I sold a few things, got a job, bought some new workout clothes and can't wait to get on a less rocky path.
This is what I sold to help pay for workouts with Adam! 

I officially joined the gym today where I will workout.

I can't wait to see what the next 10 weeks will bring!!  I think that is a great way to help me keep chasing what matters and help me be in 2015.   

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Be Still

February's focus was to be consistent.

Here is what I learned:

I am consistently inconsistent!!!!  Okay, maybe I should give myself a little credit.... I am consistent, just not consistent on the right things all the time.

I am really good at consistently worrying.  I have a tendency to allow my mind to run places. If I lost a pound for every place it's ran this month....I would be at my goal weight and then some!!!

I showed a lot of consistency after trying out for Extreme Weight Loss, but when life threw me curve balls I went back to many old behaviors and mind sets.  This months focus has opened my eyes to this. 

I also learned that I tend to get paralyzed by my own stuff and I need to take up my mat and walk. (see Mark 2:9)

I am not where I was physically or mentally, but I am not where I started either, and I know that my journey is not over!

If you have read some of my blog, then you know I have faced a lot of health stuff...knee surgery, dental stuff (over a year of dental stuff...but I think there may be light at the end of the tunnel), and in January/February I got bronchitis.  I could not kick it. (The congestion is still lingering.)  My ear would not clear up, so I made an appointment with an ENT.  At the visit I learned I have mild hearing loss due to the fluid (this was no surprise I have hearing loss anyway from my ear history), however the doc found a nodule on my thyroid.  (It's like taking your car to a mechanic....always one more thing or at least that is how it has been for me over the last year plus).  Although nodules are common, he wanted blood work and a biopsy. 

A biopsy. 

At first it was the fact that I was dealing with one more thing that got the best of me, but then my mind ran.  Again, if I lost a pound for every place it ran, I would be at my goal weight and then some.....except instead of handling this by turning to Jesus, exercise, or friends I turned to my old friend food. 

In February I found myself trying to figure out a plan to help me on my weight loss journey again and with my health. Constantly searching, but not consistently doing. (So thankful for the person encouraging me in this area right now, but that is another post.)

All of  this mind running and searching has lead me to March's focus.....Be Still. 

I love the definition of still: remaining in place or at rest, free from sound or noise, free from turbulence or commotion; peaceful; tranquil; calm, to quiet, subdue, or cause to subside. 

I want to be still! 

Jesus showed me how I don't remain at rest.  I let noise from my thoughts, my circumstances, Satan, others,  and the internet keep me from being still.  (this happens in many areas not just when I need a biopsy....even with food...I let so many voices in my head that I do not remain still in healthy eating)

When I went in for my biopsy, the doc did the ultrasound and said the nodule was both fluid and solid and that is not what we like to see.  My mind really ran! The nodule was 3.1 cm, he drained 7cc of fluid.  I also have a small one on the left side.   The anxiety of the biopsy was worse than the biopsy, but the stress of waiting was even worse.  It was in waiting for the results that God confirmed I needed to focus on being still.  Being still in Him. 

I got the call today...It's benign, follow up in 6 months.   What a weight lifted!!  It makes it easier to be still!!  I found myself  before I got the call today playing out the what ifs.  My goal was to not use food no matter the out come.  Although it was very, very tempting to go to IHOP for free pancakes to celebrate. 

Instead we celebrated with good for you pancakes, a kale/fruit smoothie, and sausage.

Even though these are so common, when your told we need to rule out cancer its scary.

I am praising Jesus it is not!!!  I am thankful for the family and friends who encouraged and prayed me through the last few weeks. 

Here's to working on remaining  at rest, practicing not letting turbulence throw me, and subduing the noise. 

Be still.

Psalm 46:10

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;

Monday, February 2, 2015

Be Consistent

My focus in January was to be present.

It started out fairly easy.  I spent more time with my family, had lunch with a friend essentially phone free, and I was to able to meet a need.  I was able to meet the need, because I was paying attention to things around me instead of the glow of my phone.

I decreased my social media use a lot and I didn't miss as much as I thought I would. 

I do kinda miss my favorite food tracking app and may start using that again...but I don't want to get tripped up by numbers or not finding the exact food I am attempting to track.

As I continue to be in 2015, I know I need to continue to work on being present.   There are wonderful moments and people I don't want to miss by not being present. 

As February begins, my focus this month is to be consistent. 

I want to be consistent in workouts.  I want to be consistent in prayer.  I want to be consistent in bible study.  I want to be consistent with healthy eating.  I want to be consistent on my path to chase what matters. I want to be consistent with drinking water.  I want to be consistent with getting enough rest.  I want to be consistent in being present.  I want to be consistent as I parent. 

It's not about being perfect, I am so far from that, I am a mess really,  but the focus this month is to just be consistent instead of hit or miss.

Is there anything you need to work on being more consistent with? 

What do you want to be in 2015?? How do you want to live?  How to do you want to be identified?  What qualities do you want to describe you?  What words do you want used to describe your condition?

Let's Be in 2015!!!


One word.  One year.


Monday, January 5, 2015

Let's Be in 2015

Last year I moved from resolutions that I never kept, to choosing one word (not that I ever really made resolutions).  The concept came from the book called One Word That Will Change Your Life by Jon Gordon, Dan Briton, and Jimmy Page.  I love, love, love this idea!   One word. One year. 

I choose the word chase in 2014.  I learned a lot about chasing what matters. I chased Jesus, health, transformation, and people.

In 2015 I want to not just chase, I want to be.

According to Merriam-Webster be is,

—used to indicate the identity of a person or thing
—used to describe the qualities of a person or thing
—used to indicate the condition of a person or thing

According to be means to exist or live.

God laid this word on my heart during church on 12-14-14.  It seemed kinda odd to me at first, but then I got excited. Your always asked as a kid "what do you want to be?", well even as an adult I need to ask myself,  what do I want to be!!!! 

I want to Be:
obedient, still, consistent, forgiving, present, kind, loving, merciful, healthy, joyful, content, peaceful, gentle, grateful, disciplined, silly, a better mother, a better wife, strong, faithful, a writer, a student, funny, self-controlled, more like Jesus. 

And so much more.

We can choose how and what to be.

So, in 2015 I will choose to Just Be.

Every month focusing on a different be.

In January my focus is to be present.

Yesterday I looked at a few percentages of my phone use:
32% of my phone use was on facebook
28% was surfing the web
4% was my bible app
1% was actual phone use

In the last 7 days:
42% was on faceboook
5% was phone use
1% was my bible app

And I claim I don't have enough time for things!!

I attempted to go back to check my fitness and health apps, but due to my indulging over the holidays those have not been used much.

I don't want my phone usage to identify me as only using it for social media. Now, I do usually use my actual bible and not my app, but seriously these percentages are sad!!!    I want to be more present in engaging with people around me.  (No, this is not me declaring I am leaving facebook , but I am going to work on being less present there and more present with who or where I am at!!) 

I am also taking a break from my favorite food tracking app.  I am going old school.....pen and paper.  I have gotten so caught up tracking my food that I am less present during meals and those I share them with.

I think that both of these thing have almost become an idol in my life and I want to take them down. 

I want to be more present as I hang with my kids.  I want to be more present as I drive.  I want to be more present as I workout.  I want to be present during my bible study.  I want be present with my husband.  I want to be present during meals. I want to be present with friends, not just hanging out with people through facebook.

And maybe just maybe my phone battery will last a little longer.

What do you want to be in 2015?? How do you want to live?  How to do you want to be identified?  What qualities do you want to describe you?  What words do you want used to describe your condition?

Let's Be in 2015!!!


One word.  One year.