Sunday, September 20, 2009

Confessions

I am not sure where to begin. It has been a while since I last posted. My oldest daughter started kindergarten and my work schedule changed...it seems like it has been crazy and stressful. Stress can lead me to eating.....however I have continued to do well......I am now at 23 pounds lost. It feels amazing. I have worn some clothes that did not fit, which encourages me tremendously. I have had more temptations it seems. Do you know how good peanut butter smells? I mean really. You open the jar and it is amazingly peanuty and says...."just one bite". Who knew making a PB&J for my kid would drive me bonkers. I am proud to say: I have not given into just one bite with the peanut butter. God will give me strength right!!!! However, we had a wedding on the 19th.....and wedding cake seems to taste so much better than any other cake. I went in saying I would give myself one bite. I am not a wedding crasher, I will not attend another for a long time....so, I ended up having about 4 small bites. The sugar gave me a slight high and made my tummy hurt briefly. I will admit it was YUM! I did not feel guilty, I was actually pretty proud of myself. Maybe I am beginning to think skinny...small bites on rare occasions. But wait the day after I seemed to crave more food in general. We went to Sprouts and I had a sample of a small pretzel filled with of all things peanut butter......ugggh. That is what I understand to be reacting not responding. The evening kinda got a little bit stressful, and then my lovely neighbor calls to give us some leftover wedding cake....and yes I had a few bites. I put down my fork and got my protein bar. Tonight I felt guilty. I know a few bites against plan are not going to kill me, but eating my feeling can! I did not think it through. I want to hit 25 this week...what was I thinking? Okay I will pick myself back up and move on. I was going to throw the cake out, but just because I can't have it, no wait just because I chose not have cake does not mean my family has to. Temptations, feeling, life is everywhere. I have to ability to chose what I do with it.


Oh and guess what....My wedding ring is kinda fitting. I can not wear it for long periods, but I was able to wear it for 2 hours on Friday night and to the wedding. I could not get it on today...but after about 2 years I say that is progress.

Please pray I use my time wisely this week and make time to workout.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Stuff......

I am thrilled to say I am at 16 pounds lost. Yeah. I wore a skirt to church yesterday I have not worn in a while. My wedding ring still has a little bit to go. I did not make working out 3 times this past week. My husband and I did Day 1 of the couch to 5k program a week ago, and it was fun. Hard, but fun. We planned on doing it again, but my oldest daughter got sick on Tuesday so we did not make it. On Wednesday, by the time I was able to it was too dark, and Thursday and Friday just got filled with stuff. Hopefully I do better this week. I wanted to workout today, but we went to the park and I collided with the ground while riding my kid's wiggle racer.......is my youth really gone that I can't do kid stuff without hurting myself?


I have been doing really well, but I have had moments that things I can't eat sound so good and I just want to be lazy. I made my daughter peanut butter and jelly and oh my the smell of peanut butter never smelled so good. But, I have to remember the goals.....lose weight, get healthier. I know that I will have peanut butter again one day. I know that as I continue to eat healthy, later I will add in foods I am not eating. I will be able to enjoy them instead of take advantage of them.