Such mixed emotions...this is the season I tried out for.
I wrote a letter to Chris Powell.
Yet, despite not making it, I have looked forward to this show coming on. I have wondered if anyone I attended the casting with made it?? It is always motivational and inspiring. I am thrilled for these people!! Honestly, I am!!!
But, I do feel a little sad for myself! I feel so far from where I want to be. I had hopes of being at my goal at this point...but obstacles have been in my way. Its during these trials I would love for Chris Powell to say to me "when you can't believe in yourself let me believe in you." My journey is so much more than physical weight loss. I am desperately chasing transformation. Transformation of my mind, body, and spirit.....and sometimes, sometimes it feels so darn lonely! I have had many people in my life the last year believe in me, but I am currently at an intersection of doubt and stuck!! I would really love for someone to push me and invest in me like they do on the show until I reach my goal.
The flip side of this pity party coin is gratitude. I am so thankful that Jesus used this show as a catalyst for change in my life. I am thankful for what He has accomplished through me. I am thankful for what He has taught me. I am thankful for what I have experienced and who I have met. And now, now that I have tasted that change...I want more.
As I sit here struggling with words to express what I am feeling and wishing the scale would begin to descend again, I also know that Jesus believes in me. He invests in me. He is calling me. I know He has not brought me this far to leave me. I know He has a plan. I know He wants me to just keep chasing.
Keep chasing what matters. Keep chasing what He is calling you to.
He invests in you and believes in you...even at the intersection of unbelief and stuck.
All things through Christ.