Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas Friends. I am so looking forward to all the holiday fun with loved ones even the crazy tiffs that always seem to occur. As you know I have written before about my weight loss journey and I ended up not doing so well. Diets are such a struggle, and the last time I knew I really needed to work through my issues with overeating, not just lose the weight and get healthy and I tried, however it was not meant to be at the time.

Since late October I have been attending Overeaters Anonymous. I felt so strange at first, attending meetings so similar to AA, and not paying someone to weight me in and analyze my food journal. It was people like me who have issues with food. I chose to quit drinking dark sodas again when I began attending meetings, the 27th will be 60 days. Yeah! Through attending meetings, getting a sponsor(who rocks by the way), and beginning to work through the steps of the program I have come to understand how much I like an alcholic I am. I have always understood that I was an emotional eater, but I never realized how unmanageable it was for me. I have always been so scared to let God be my strenght and comfort where I use food. I have come to realize there are certain foods that if I have one bite I am sucked into the overeating compulsive cycle. My gift to myself and my gift to Jesus this Christmas is to not have sweets. Today is day 4. I have done great so far. I have even seen that it is different from a diet. When dieting there are rules to follow and I get caught up in that, if I break them I feel bad about myself. With this I choose to not eat sweets, if I wanted it I could have it. I am not breaking or following rules. I am choosing. I want to lay down this idol.

May your Christmas be great friends. Jesus is the reason for the season!

News/Updates

Wow. I am a total slacker! I can not believe it has been almost a year since I posted something. I confess, I quit doing the diet program I was doing and thought I could manage on my own. Guess what that did not work, however I did run my first 5k in May! That was amazing. I trained doing the couch to 5k program and ran the whole thing in about an hour. I had only done 30 minute runs, but after I ran the first 30 minutes, I wanted to finish, even if it was at a turtles pace. I found I really like running. So, my goal is to begin blogging again about my journey.

2010

Well, we have made it to the year 2010!!! Happy New Year my friends. I pray that this year blesses you all.

It has been a while since I posted. The holidays have come and gone. We had such a blessed time. I have survied the season and have reached a weight loss total of 42 lbs. Yeah! However, I did not stick to plan great or I would have lost much more. I admitt the food tasted yummy!!! I noted though that I feel much bettter physically when I do not stuff myself with so much food. I did not feel so great on those days. I like feeling in control of the food too. With all the food spread out in the kitchen it feels like it controls me. I was able to exercise at time....with a horrible ear infection that lasted 5 weeks, and then went away, and is now back, it has been hit or miss, but I discovered Zumba. It is a latin dance class at the YMCA, and is so much fun and great calorie burner. And Santa gave us a Wii. I love it. So much family fun!

I do not really make New Year's resolutions, but I want to reach my weight loss goal this year and I have huge to do list. I pray that I will also do better about abiding in Jesus. He is the vine.

May you reach your goals this year.

Struggle

Well, what is a struggle? Websters says "to proceed with difficulty or great effort". Are you struggling with anything right now? Sometimes we struggle to get up in the morning, make dinner, work out. Everyone has them, but it is hard to learn to cope with them in different ways. Food has almost always been my coping mechanism. Today I was told to not really workout till my ear got better. (that is another story), and now I can't use that to help cope. What do I do? I have a lot going on right now, just like everyone, but I am to chose a different coping mechanism. How? I have blogged about this sort of thing before, but I think as one chooses a weight loss journey or any journey you have to face your issues your struggles usually more than once.

I was doing my bible study today. It is Esther by Beth Moore and it was talking about failure to decide and I had a light bulb moment. I pray I can really apply it from this day forward. We get choices everywhere, with food, with obeying God, with exercise, with our time and if we fail to decide what to do in the struggle than we may risk gaining weight, our destiny, our health, our relationships. I never want to fail to to decide. We should be intentional about our choices, our lives, our attitudes.

Believe in myself

I was reading an article today from one of the biggest loser contestants....and she is all about believing in yourself. Do you believe in yourself? Do I believe in myself? I do in some areas, but when it comes to weight loss it is hard. I know I have come a long way, but I have never fully succed at this journey. I have tried many times and failed. It is disappointing, frustrating, and makes me feel like I can't do it. I have had a rough few weeks.....not everyday, but moments. I could give you a long list of excuses(hormones, hormones, and hormones, and life, and I have been sick.) I had another one today. I was so hungry and wanted a snack. I made my protien drink, but still wanted a crunch....so it went like this in my mind "one nilla waffer will not be bad, you can have just one". That one thought grew into too many wafers. And after swallowing my apple cider vinegar...the consuqence of my choices of eating, I thought this is just like sin. It is that one thought that creeps into you mind, and we act on it, and it turns into too many whatevers.........We have to nip it in the bud at the thought, the temptation.

I want to have resolve like Daniel did....Danile 1:8 says "But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with they royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way." Resolve is a strong word that means to be devoted to principle and to be committed to a course of action. I want that.



I can believe in myself, because Jesus believes me. I have to get up and move on, Jesus is the lifter of my head. I don't have to hang it down, even when I have made a mistake. I can brush off and keep at it.

In the bible study I am doing the other day, I heard a new phrase..."false shelter". I think this is sometimes what food can be for me. I am learning though to not let food have control of me, but me have control of food.

Tummy Ache

So much to confess...where do I start? I have exercised now 3x for two weeks, I only have 2 more times and I will have done it for 3 weeks. Yeah! I have played racquetball for the first time.....anyone give lessons?? It is a little comical I am sure, but a fun date night with my man.


However I have fallen off the wagon a bit. I have lots of excuses....stress, its been really busy, work, discouragement, but the only thing it has given me is a tummy ache. Was it worth it? No. And I now have the after guilt. But, I will learn from this. I can make a different and better choice next time. I can fight through the temptaions. I can do something different with my emotions. I do not have to chose to feed them! Next time...I can take a mommy time out, pray, call someone, take a walk, or blog.

One more thing to admitt: I have been craving Dt. Coke for about a week....I had a sip tonight..and Yuck. I am free of Dt. Coke.

Exercise

EXERCISE................uggg. This is the hard part right now. I have met the goals that I set previously and it is time for new ones. I know this needs to be one, but ......

I have said in an older post that I realize that I just need to make time for it....but it is so difficult for me to do. I am working out on occasion, but everyday....or even 3 times seems so far fetched. I did do a 1 mile walk today.

I admitt I am the queen of excuses! I am a girl who likes to sleep at least 7 hours, usually more and I am lazy. Proverb6:9 says "How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep?" I need someone to call me at 5 every morning as say this to me, or remind me every afternoon.

So with that said...my goal for this week is 3 workouts. I did in the past I can do it again...wish me luck.