Sunday, December 16, 2012

Heavy Heart

My heart is heavy. 

All day my life has continued like normal.  Coffee, work, Christmas shopping, laundry, and then tonight we went to dinner with friends.  We enjoyed food and fellowship.  We walked around a beautifully lit downtown square in a neighboring town.  We saw fake snow fall down to the ground. There was Christmas music, trains, and a tree.  My kids held hands with their friends, played, and laughed.  My friends and I stood talking and watching the sights and sounds all around us.  I took a moment to sit on a small wall, where I could continue to observe my children and friends as they interacted, and tears began to feel my eyes.  I ached for all the people in CT.  Shouldn't the world just stop?? 

I do not understand.  I have expressed this to Jesus several times as I have prayed for the families. There are no words.  None.  And yet, I feel like I have to try to write something just to attempt to wrap my head around it. 

First, I would like to say I am sorry. I am so so sorry. 

Then I would like to say, I am so thankful that Christmas is not about snow, lights, the gifts that I need to complete.  Its about Jesus.

 And Jesus loves the little children of the world.  In Luke 18:16 the bible says, " 16 But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these."

 I love Jesus, I have faith in Jesus, and I question Jesus?  Why?  Why did this happen?  I am not here to debate anything, I am here to find for myself a slice of  peace.  The nugget I am grasping onto, is that Jesus loved those children, those teachers, and I know He held them in His hand. 

We can't stop the world, but we can stop the political debates and grieve with our fellow man.  Romans 12:15  says "15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."  To do that I will shed tears with them, on behalf of them, and I will intercede in prayer for them.

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