Sunday, September 20, 2009


I am not sure where to begin. It has been a while since I last posted. My oldest daughter started kindergarten and my work schedule seems like it has been crazy and stressful. Stress can lead me to eating.....however I have continued to do well......I am now at 23 pounds lost. It feels amazing. I have worn some clothes that did not fit, which encourages me tremendously. I have had more temptations it seems. Do you know how good peanut butter smells? I mean really. You open the jar and it is amazingly peanuty and says...."just one bite". Who knew making a PB&J for my kid would drive me bonkers. I am proud to say: I have not given into just one bite with the peanut butter. God will give me strength right!!!! However, we had a wedding on the 19th.....and wedding cake seems to taste so much better than any other cake. I went in saying I would give myself one bite. I am not a wedding crasher, I will not attend another for a long, I ended up having about 4 small bites. The sugar gave me a slight high and made my tummy hurt briefly. I will admit it was YUM! I did not feel guilty, I was actually pretty proud of myself. Maybe I am beginning to think skinny...small bites on rare occasions. But wait the day after I seemed to crave more food in general. We went to Sprouts and I had a sample of a small pretzel filled with of all things peanut butter......ugggh. That is what I understand to be reacting not responding. The evening kinda got a little bit stressful, and then my lovely neighbor calls to give us some leftover wedding cake....and yes I had a few bites. I put down my fork and got my protein bar. Tonight I felt guilty. I know a few bites against plan are not going to kill me, but eating my feeling can! I did not think it through. I want to hit 25 this week...what was I thinking? Okay I will pick myself back up and move on. I was going to throw the cake out, but just because I can't have it, no wait just because I chose not have cake does not mean my family has to. Temptations, feeling, life is everywhere. I have to ability to chose what I do with it.

Oh and guess what....My wedding ring is kinda fitting. I can not wear it for long periods, but I was able to wear it for 2 hours on Friday night and to the wedding. I could not get it on today...but after about 2 years I say that is progress.

Please pray I use my time wisely this week and make time to workout.

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