I feel that way with my word for 2019. I normally have my one word confirmed and wrote about way before the end of January, but I began the New Year sick. I felt behind, but I also felt like I hadn't held it, touched it, and had it validated.
And now that it is February, I hesitate to use the word that I know is now mine for 2019. February seems so late in the game. Despite not
This is my 6th year spending a year with a word, in all the years it has never taken this much time to write about it. Never. However, there are a lot of days left in 2019, and I know the Lord wants me to spend time with this word.
My past words have been:
Deep down, I knew what word the Lord was leading me to, but again with being sick and other things going on, I just never felt confirmation. Like my babies, I just needed to hold it and sit with it. I did get validation while at church on January 13, 2019, but have only spoken that to one person, my pastor. His message verified my word and I told him that day. Yet, until I could write this post, I just could not bring myself to utter it, post it, or hashtag it.
Jesus has finally given me the mental, emotional, and physical strength to form my words and give voice to my one word for 2019.
I think it took so long, because the weariness of some burdens, both health and personal, were making it hard to feel like the word fit into my year. I had so much going on that I wasn't getting stuff done. I am one that takes some time getting use to new routines and schedules. In August, I quit a job, thought I would start a new job in September, but did not start till October. I started a business, and was attempting to keep up my study pace, reading pace, home, kids, workouts, and learning a new nutrition coaching program, on top of the health stuff and personal stuff. I was also helping a friend with his ministry. And lets not forget the holidays. For an OCD woman, this getting use to new routines and schedules kinda shook me. It all felt a little chaotic. I felt because of lack of progress and time or the appearance thereof, that I was being slightly hypocritical in declaring that diligent would be my word.
I think when your weary you realize just how diligent you have been.
Rather the tiredness is from the exertion of a good workout, positive things, or the result of some storms, one must be diligent to get through.
Diligent , according to my friend Merriam-Webster is characterized by steady, earnest, and energetic effort:painstaking.
If I look at reality and not just my feelings, I am not being untrue to this word. I just need the reminder of what this word encompasses to help me in 2019.
On that day in church, when this word was confirmed, the verses my pastor used were:
"The lazy person wants but doesn't have; the diligent get their desires filled." (Proverbs 13:4 CJB)
"I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me." (Proverbs 8:17 ESV)
Not only will diligent by my word, but these verses will be the biblical back up as I walk it out in 2019.
I have numerous ambitions and it is by focusing on this word for 2019 and these verses that I will be more equipped to walk the adventurous path toward those goals, toward any new opportunities, and even walk away from others.