Friday, October 31, 2014

What's gonna grow??

Since I started my journey I have learned many things about myself, one being that I am stronger physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually than I give myself credit for. (and of course this comes from Christ!!)

On Wednesday I had to have yet another root canal.  I am going on almost 9 months since my dental stuff started.  The stress and impact on my journey has been huge, but I am hanging in and continuing to chase what matters. 

This root canal was fairly simple, but I did have to see a specialist for it.  I planned on going to crossfit before my appointment, but decided I needed a rest day physically, mentally, and spiritually.  I spent the morning with a few of my favorite things and posted this pic on social media.

I carry a cross that I normally hold for things like this in my purse, but on this day I added my koosh ball to hold as well.  I was a little nervous and anxious, but it felt normal...after all, after 9 months I am just over all things dental. I turned up the song "You Make Me Brave" by Bethel Music and Amanda Cook, allowing the words to wash over me.  I also posted about this on social media with this pic, and I stated "I am believing I am gonna have a dental break till I am old and need dentures."

I arrived at the office and still felt nervous, but it was not an abnormal nervous. After I was numb, the assistant pulled off my temporary crown, and I felt so relieved it did not hurt. (This tooth has been hypersensitive since we began the process of changing my bridge.)  Then it was time to isolate the tooth, the assistant began the process and she asked me if I was hot, I said no, but that I needed to sit up.....I was on the verge of an anxiety attack and felt like I might pass out.  I clung tighter to my cross and my koosh ball, tears welled up in my eyes, and I asked to go to the bathroom.  I prayed, I mentally refocused, and repeated the song title over and over..."You Make Me Brave".  I went back to the chair and we began again. During the time in the chair there were 2 other times I became so overwhelmed with anxiety....but I repeated praying, the song title, and refocused.

It amazed and reminded me that through prayer and refocusing God can and will help me transform my mind. What power He gives!!  So many times my mind and thoughts are negative....that can have power too. It's not that I am a negative person, but I tend to worry and think anxious thoughts.

I am currently doing a bible study by Beth Moore called The Children of the Day.  In today's study I concluded that focused emotions can grow and grow.  Beth Moore states "Perhaps you also compared 1 Samuel 18:29 and Philippians 1:14 and noted that fear has an overwhelming tendency to increase even more but, praise God, so has courage.....Ask yourself this question as I do the same: knowing the propensity of things to grow, which way do I want to go?"

In that dental chair I could have easily gave into the fear wanting to grow, but through Christ, through prayer, through transforming my mind, I didn't!!   

It's hard to trust and focus during trials, but if we don't that allows the negative space to grow and take hold.

We can't control the situation, but we can control what grows...Fear or courage.  Strength or weakness. Our waist lines or our health. Our love or hatred.  Bitterness or forgiveness.

All things through Christ!!!

Chase What Matters.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thank you for stopping by!!