Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Be Disciplined

I am 4 days behind getting my focus for the month out!!!!  I only have one more focus for 2015!!!  That blows my mind!! How did that even happen??

My focus for November is to be disciplined.

I chose this focus because,  I signed up for a training online that I am very excited about.  I want to be disciplined to use the training, which means I need to be disciplined in my time management. 

Of course I want to carry over some of the things I wanted to be intentional about from last month, but this month I want to be disciplined to manage my time, to learn something new, and put what I learn to use.

"It was character that got us out of bed, commitment that moved us into action, and discipline that enabled us to follow through. " ~ Zig Ziglar

This month I want to follow through!. 


Be Disciplined.

Friday, October 2, 2015

Be Intentional

All things pumpkin, apple, hot tea, coffee, cooler weather, leaves changing, camping, baseball season coming to an end, football going in the background, shorter days, longer nights, light jackets, maybe even jeans. 


I love fall.  I love each season. 

October came fast though!! Really fast.  Normally, I have an idea of what my next month's focus will be, this month, not a clue.  I thought about it yesterday and toyed with some ideas, but today it was given to me.

Last month I focused on be fighting.  This focus helped keep me calm in the craziness of yet another surgery.  It also taught me a lot about prayer.  I will continue to be fighting.  I am healing well from my surgery and I am so thankful that I can report the nodule was benign!!!!!  I am so thankful that Jesus kept me calm and answered that prayer.  The nodule was pressing on my trachea, so I am also thankful it is out!!  I can even workout as tolerated now!!!  We will check my thyroid levels in a few weeks. Check your neck y'all!!! 

During my downtime I have spent a lot of time alone, reading, watching Gilmore Girls (how did I never watch this show before??), sleeping, and relaxing.  It has been restful, but I confess it has been lonely as well.  I have checked Facebook a lot!

One of the books I am reading is Simply Tuesday by Emily P. Freeman, she writes about friendship in one of her chapters and as I read I felt relief to know I am not alone.   I am like her, I know a lot of people and have many acquaintances.  I can make an acquaintance just about anywhere. Her words that convicted me the most were "I could either continue as I was, waiting for people to show up and surround me, or I could decide to move myself toward people."  I often sit around waiting for people.  My husband has heard me complain a lot about my lack of people.

As an adult making connecting friendships is hard.  We are all so busy with our routines, homes, work, kids, family, and at the end of the day instead of putting an effort into friendships we crash into our beds with our books, our reality TV, and our Facebook.  This seems easier than risking putting yourself  out there, even though you desire to connect. I like Facebook, but it really is the lazy way of being friends. Don't get me wrong I have a friend in my inner circle, but I believe God wants that circle to grow and not just in the number of friends I have on Facebook.   For that circle to grow, I have to be intentional.

So that is this month's focus to be intentional.

Emily P. Freeman says, "The truth is, people need our with-ness. They don't need for us to impress them with how spiritual we are. They need to know they aren't alone."  For people to know they are not alone we have to be intentional about sharing with them and spending time with them.

I have many other things I need/want to be intentional about, so this month's focus is about that too.

I need to be intentional about my diet on the weekends.  I do fairly well on the weekdays, but weekends are tough.  And I haven't done well since I had surgery. 

I need to be intentional about time with my kids, my husband. 

I need to be intentional about organizing those papers, cleaning out that closest. 

I need to be intentional with workouts, even more than workouts, stretching!! 

I need to be intentional about my faith. 

I want to be intentional about scrapbooking. 

What do you need to be intentional about?? 


Be Intentional!!

Saturday, September 12, 2015

Surgery Again

Surgery, again.

At least this time I will not be needing a walker or crutches afterwards!!!!  Gotta look on the bright side, right??

Here is a brief time line of the last 3 years:
2012- Right meniscus surgery, followed by weeks of physical therapy
2013- Left meniscus surgery, followed by weeks of physical therapy
2013 - Pneumonia for about 2 months
2013-  Major dental work, beginning in Feb lasting 15-18 months, including surgeries, root canals, and a new bridge

During this time in November of 2014 I wrote this post Feeling like He isn't Coming Through and a short 4 months later in March of this year I posted about my monthly focus Be Still.

If you didn't click on those links, here's the cliff notes:  I was feeling like God wasn't coming through for me and He gently reminded me He already had and after worrying and fretting He reminded me to focus on being still. My mind was running crazy for numerous reasons, one was a thyroid nodule and a biopsy to go with it.

I have continued to focus on my one word for the year with a different focus every month.  I have continued my journey to health.  However, while making progress with workouts, I have not seemed to make a lot of progress with numbers.  Yes, I confess my eating could be a little cleaner on the weekends, but all and all to not have much difference has had me frustrated, I have even gained.

Maybe, just maybe the story below is why and maybe, just maybe after it is "fixed" I can continue to make progress!!!!

About a month ago I  went to the doctor for shortness of breath and coughing and was treated for bronchitis.  On August 31st I had  my follow up with my ENT regarding this nodule and was sent for a sonogram later in the week and on September 2nd I choose my focus  Be Fighting, little did I know I would need to include surgery in that fight. Apparently this shortness of breath and cough could actually be due to this thyroid nodule putting pressure on my trachea.  It has grown and there are now 2 on the right side measuring over 5cm and 2 on left that are small.  There is small chance that there is cancer, I have had two docs say while possible they do not think they will find any.   I was talking to a friend the other night and told her that the doc said 10-20% chance it could be and she said that is 80-90% chance it is not.  I like those chances and that outlook!!! 

In July I heard Christine Caine preach, she had just gone through thyroid cancer. The friend that attended with me had just been through thyroid surgery. I am believing I don't have cancer,  but I learned a lot from her that night and from her post regarding facing the struggle. Since I know that I know that God has already come through for me, I want to face this surgery like Christine Caine faced hers.

I confess I have a tendency to kinda freak out about surgery.  I have been through a lot of health struggles in the last 3 years and just in the last 4 months a lot of personal struggles.  It would be no surprise if I just lost it......but as Herbert Cooper says, "But God changes everything." 

Whatever you are going through God really does change everything!!

I have a history of letting fear take hold of me.  I love what Christine
Caine says in her post "I had a faith battle ahead of me, and the real enemy was not cancer, but fear."  I have a faith battle ahead of me too, and the real enemy is not the slight possibility of cancer, or surgery, but it is fear.

I want to choose to be fighting. I want to choose to not be paralyzed by fear, and I want to choose to allow God to change everything.

Read the post by Christine Caine here.  May it encourage you in whatever battle your facing.


Be Fighting!!

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Be Fighting

 Another month. Another focus. One word, one year.  My one word is be.  I have taken that one word and focused every month on a way to be, a way to live.

This month my focus is be fighting

I began writing this post last week.  I was going to have it ready to hit publish yesterday, but I didn't finish.  I had planned for September's focus to be, be rooted, but God had other plans.

When I was writing the post last week, the words coming out were originating from an emotional place.  What I was feeling and thinking could only be managed by being rooted in Christ, so much of the last few years of my life have been this way.   I know that anything I will go through in the future can only be managed by being rooted in Christ.   That is how I came up with the focus be rooted.

Here is how I started that post:
How do you live life when everything feels unsettled?  When things seem all up in the air or even shattered on the ground?  How do you live life when prayers go unanswered? When your heart breaks??

This. Life. Is. Hard!!!

Extremely Hard.

I am not going to go into details about what is hard in my life, because there is so much to it and we would be here for hours...and there is counseling for that, and yes I am in it.  My hard actually started at my last knee surgery in December of 2013 and has continued from thing after another, but since May it has escalated.

As I have gone through some of this hard stuff and continue to attempt to get through it I have seen a few things.

1.) All too often we compare ourselves with others and attempt to one up each other. Women do it with one another.  Husbands and wives.  Parents and children.   Constantly trying to out do who had a harder day, who had to serve more, who had to give more, who was stretched the most, who is going through the most.   Maybe instead of attempting to one up each other, we should really stop, listen, pray, and encourage.

2.)  Dori in Finding Nemo had it right....just keep swimming.

3.)  As you walk through the hard, you have to be rooted.

Today as I read back over these words I still think them, but now that my emotions have settled I  know that I am rooted, not that I shouldn't ever dig deeper, but I know I am rooted.  I know that because I am rooted, I can see God's hand in some of this hard stuff!!  My ground has been shaken, if I am honest even my faith.  Maybe yours has been shaken as well??    Just because my ground has been shaken and even my faith does not mean I am not rooted.  Just because your ground has been shaken does not mean your not rooted.

My husband and I saw the movie War Room over the weekend, it was all about fighting. 
Fighting through prayer.   To help me dig deeper, get water to my roots, and settle my shaky ground I need to focus on fighting.

 Fighting in prayer for my family.  Fighting in prayer for my marriage. Fighting in prayer for my children. Fighting in prayer for my health. Fighting in prayer for my weight loss journey.  Fighting in prayer for my neighbors and friends. Fighting in prayer for the things that shake my ground. Fighting in prayer for others.

I have posted some about prayer in the past, I considered myself prayerful, however this movie changed all that.  This movie challenged me to up my battle plan.  Life is challenging.  Life is hard.  I want to be fighting.

Will you join me??  If I can fight for you let me know!


Be Fighting.

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Be Focused

August already??  July flew by.  I loved my focus in July, be resilient. I could camp out on that focus for a while, but it's time to face the music of a new month.

July has led to 3 different ideas about my focus for August, and as I have prayed I through the answer was be surrendered.  I practically had a post all written, when I felt Jesus tug at my heart to change it.  My focus for August is to be focused.

In July, even in June, I was focused, but it was on the wrong thing!  At a recent event with Christine Caine she said "We are so stressed about being stressed"!  This has been me lately.  The more stressed I am the more OCD I feel, increasing my focus on the problems, and my stress about being stressed!
(I  have been so focused on the stress I haven't even lost much weight, but I have faced my fear of the intimidating side of the gym....but that is another post!)

This month I need to adjust my focus. I recently finished reading Unstoppable  by Christine Caine,   she gently reminded me "Whatever I chose to focus on had my attention." 

I need to widen the lens of my perception to see a bigger picture and not zero in on the problems. 

My focal point needs to be Jesus and not the storms around me.

She continued to tug at my heart with "By looking at your circumstances through the lens of God's eternal truth rather than through the lens of your temporal circumstance, you won't allow external circumstances to steal your internal peace. Remember, the size of that dot is determined by the focus you give it, so magnify the Lord so you can see that God is bigger than the circumstance you face and is at work through it."

So this month let's be focused.  Focus not on the stresses, not on the problems, not on the obstacles, not on the scale, but on the bigger picture, on the blessings, on the good things, on non scale victories, on progress, on what your learning, on the journey....on Jesus.

All things through Christ.


Be Focused.

Sunday, July 5, 2015

Be Resilient

Last summer we slowed down, this summer feels like we have been in overdrive. How is it July 5th and I am just writing about my focus for the month??  I think its due to the busyness of my days and the hesitance to put it into words.

When I prayed about my one word, be, for 2015 and decided that I would focus on a different be every month, I never imagined the places it would take me each month.

My weight loss journey has been filled with God transforming me inside out, with the last 18 months being extremely difficult, transformation has been slow physically, but God has continued to work mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
 This kind of work is HARD!!!!!  Can't I just transform physically without dealing with the stuff???

This month's inside work has been the hardest.  I have dealt with OCD, anxiety, and at times depression type tendencies before in my life and the events, circumstances, and changes lately have come crashing down on me causing the tendencies to increase.  I feel like I am suffocating beneath the stuff.

I have made the decision to work through some of my stuff with a counselor, he gave me some homework and from the work I found my focus for July.  I was reading through the homework sheets that I felt like were pressing issues for me, including grief recovery (check out his site here, the sheet I read is from  One sentence stuck out at me.... "God made you to be resilient by equipping you to adapt mentally, emotionally, and spiritually to new situations." I made a note on the paper, I don't feel that I am, therefore bringing me my focus for July....Be resilient. 

According to Merrian-Webster resilient means:
  • able to become strong, healthy, or successful again after something bad happens
  • able to return to an original shape after being pulled, stretched, pressed, bent, etc
  • capable of withstanding shock without permanent deformation or rupture
  • tending to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change 
I love the definition!! I have dealt with a lot of bad, I am currently being pulled, stretched, pressed, there have been circumstances that have created shock, and oh so much change.  I don't feel resilient, but at the end of this month, with a little more counseling, a little heavy lifting (I am going to have to make myself go to the intimidating side of the gym, lifting helps), some coffee, and a whole lot of Jesus prayerfully I will be a bit more resilient than I am now.  


Be Resilient.

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Be Honest

The last 3.5 weeks have been hard. Very hard.

There has been a significant loss in my family.  Loss brings with it tons of emotions, from hurt feelings, to lots of love, and everything in between.

For a girl who has turned to food to self-regulate emotions, feelings, and thoughts this has been a challenge.

While eating fairly well M-F, the weekends have suffered. My workouts have too.

I had to go out of town due to the situation with my family.  I am incredibly thankful I was able to be there.  I didn't stress about not logging my food.  I didn't stress about what I was eating.  I didn't feel guilty.  I owe this freedom from guilt to Jesus and my personal trainer.

I came back home after being gone 7 days physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted, so the  week I returned wasn't great.  I did not get back on track, but I didn't stress about this nor did my trainer.  Although the reality of the here and now was not on point, the big picture showed progress.

The next week I was celebrating my wedding anniversary and I had other plans that week too, so yet again not a great week.  I didn't track well, eat good, or workout much.  I met with my trainer on Wednesday May 27th for the last time face to face, the day after my anniversary dinner.  I was honest about it not being the best nutritionally, but didn't feel guilty.  (Real events, real life happens on this  journey.)  My last day was supposed to be today,  but with work and last week of school stuff for my kids, I had to mark something off.  I did join a gym and committed to still working fact I have gone 4 out of the last 7 days.  Adam and I also made an appointment to catch up on the phone in a few weeks since I needed to lighten my load.

Although I was honest with Adam about my anniversary meal, I wasn't honest with him about how I was really doing last week. I wasn't honest with anyone at first.  I didn't track it either, but the evidence was on the scale, in my head, and in my heart.  It started with a specific craving and it grew into days of binging.  Hiding the trash of food I ate. Buying food and eating a few items out of the package, but finding a trash can on the way home to throw the rest away, so I wouldn't eat the whole box.   The food soothed some of the emotions I felt, but now I felt guilt.  I also felt physically bad. 

All of the stuff over the last 18 months came flooding over me last week and all I could seem to do was eat.

With that said as I focus on the word "be" in 2015 this month's focus is to be honest!

I don't want to lie about where I am with food and emotions. Since Monday I have gotten back on track. One day I took a picture of my fitbit numbers and myfitnesspal numbers posting them on social media. I will continue to do that on occasions this month to help me be honest. 

Tonight I have dinner plans.  This weekend I have plans.  I will track them as best I can even if I am over on my calories.  I will not feel guilty for living life, but I will also not feed my emotions.  I will remember how good a workout feels and how good I feel when I am not binging.

I listened to a podcast yesterday.  The podcast is titled Coffee with Chris.  In one that I listened to Christine Caine said "Failure is an event, not who you are." 

The last week of binge eating, was an event not who I am. 


Be Honest 

All things through Christ