I was a mess of emotions this morning....from feeling sorry for myself to being mad at myself, and everything in between.
This morning my trainer Adam at Lose Inches-Personal Training had to play therapist not just trainer. (I highly recommend him for his ability to do this!!!)
Two years ago I walked into a casting call for Extreme Weight Loss, while this day changed my life, I was pouting this morning that I am not at my goal like others that went to casting calls for this same season, pouting because I am not where I was a year ago, and pouting because I want to be.
However, I am not at my heaviest and I am not the same girl I was on April 13, 2013.
|April 13, 2013/April 12, 2015|
April 13, 2013 was not my heaviest weight (that was March of 2011) and April 12, 2015 has not been my lowest weight in the last 2 years......that is why this is a journey. No journey is paved with a straight line. It's paved with twists, turns, and circles.
I am thankful for the journey. I have met some amazing fitness professional in the area where I live and had the privilege of working with them. I have met some amazing people through social media. I have even gotten to speak with someone who was on the show. I have learned to ask for help. I have learned to share more feelings, instead of wearing them. Jesus has taught me many lessons (including this one) and walked through the last year plus of health issues with me. I even have new teeth to show for it (don't wrap you car around a light pole) and thankfully a benign biopsy. I am also learning to be more balanced instead of extreme. (I struggled with this back in January of 2014 and here I am still learning) (I think I just found my focus for May?? be balanced, see here for more on that)
In my letter to Chris Powell I wrote I wanted to leave a different legacy to my kids and I am. My kids have been learning to eat more healthy foods over the last 2 years, how to make healthier choices, how to make treats healthier, and my oldest daughter wants to run a 5k with me.
I may not be at my goal weight, but there is transformation. I will keep fighting. I will not give up. I know that my story is not finished. Jesus and I are still writing.
Whatever journey your on don't quit. Whatever you want to be in 2015, don't give up. Obstacles, detours, circles, are all part of the journey and the learning. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Keep showing up!
I wrote this letter to myself in this post in November of 2013 and wanted to remind myself again. I hope it helps you too.
Do you understand how far you have come? How far God has brought you on this journey?? At your heaviest you were tired, anxious, depressed. Everything was hard...everything!! Your emotions controlled your food choices. After losing some weight, you then had the courage to try our for a TV show and have continued to fight ever since. Did you know that no matter what you put in your mouth or how your workout went, you Shelly are fearfully and wonderfully made?? The bible tells you so! Did you know that in any journey to see some rainbows, you have to have a little rain?? This week is just a little rain. Don't let it drown you! God did not bring you this far to leave you! Remember when you don't eat well, you don't feel well. How do you want to feel today? You are worth the hard work, time, and effort this journey takes! You have 2 girls snuggled in their beds that are watching your journey. You have a husband who loves you and supports your efforts. Remember your trying to leave a different legacy, and you are. The goals you have before you will take time to reach. You will take 2 steps forward and 4 steps back at times, but you know God has surrounded you with what you need for your journey. Yes, you fell down this week physically(I fell during a workout this week, thus facing a fear) and with food, but that does not mean you quit. It means you faced some fears and have some choices. Will you get back up and not allow yourself to be tangled up in the web of old habits? There is a great quote in the ebook "The Unwired Mom" by Sarah Mae "And when you do mess it all up, there is grace that says, "It's okay, you're covered. Get up and try again. You are not alone in this."
You got this, all things through Christ.